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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • April 20, 2012

    Episode Three: Time Out Of Mind

    Episode 3 of

    Time Out Of Mind,

     the sequel to

    The Dante Experience

    “A Duel for Josephine”

    OPENING CREDITS

    Scene 1

    SOUND: Of Heaven.

    MICHAEL: Ok, lunchtime is over sir. Where were we? Ok, there are five dragons going through time trying to destroy the history of mankind. They are being chased by the kids from The Dante Experience under the leadership of Susan. From Heaven we have sent our own task force consisting of General Joseph, Angel Jenkins and Dante to help. And then there is… Ok, I’m getting a transmission from Angel Ted. After my encounter with Mephistopheles on Dead Celebrity Tic Tac Toe, I asked Angel Ted to keep an eye on the devil to see what he’s doing. We now go to Angel Ted live in Hell. Ted are you there?

    Scene 2

    SOUND: Of Hell- Outside of noise.

    TED: (To himself) Another great assignment with Michael. I wish I had an excuse to… (Noticing he is on, upset and sarcastic throughout all his lines) Well, Hello Angel Michael.

    MICHAEL: (confused) Ah, hi Angel Ted. Is everything ok?

    TED: Oh, yeah. Everything is super.

    MICHAEL: Good.

    TED: Everything is super keen.

    MICHAEL: Ok.

    TED: With a capital K. Keeeeeeeen.

    MICHAEL: Ted, if there is a problem this is probably the wrong time. I’m currently in the big guy’s throne room and…. (more…)

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  • April 20, 2012

    UPDATE: Today the edited version of this article was published in the Grand Rapids Press, my hometown paper (making me feel a little sentimental). Also, I learned the new school will be the Wyoming Wolves, which I think sounds awesome (and a little scary). I really think this change is a very good thing for the next generation of Viki… I mean, Wolves.

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    Our time in high school haunts us. Some may brush off that idea (maybe pointing to college as more important), but a lot of who we develop into starts during those four years. We figure out things about ourselves then, to put it more simply, and later we fine tune it. Good or bad, that high school version of yourself still exists someplace inside your psyche, no matter how much you wish to deny it. Yes, the pimples are there still, but just under the surface now.

    For me, I had a recurring dream that lasted for about five years after I graduated. In that dream, I am always in different locations (college classroom, my evening job, etc.) and my high school band director shows up in full marching band uniform (which is weird since he would never wear a uniform), screaming that there is an emergency and he is…

    View original post 966 more words

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  • April 18, 2012

    Underwhelmed by Pottermore

    Maybe it is the Ravenclaw in me, but I was expecting something with a little more creativity and inspirational zing from Pottermore.com.

    Pottermore… I remember when I first heard of the Web site. What a great idea! An online experience around Hogwarts that also works as an opportunity for JK Rowling to share new insights into the world of Harry Potter. The last part is what got me the most; see, while as satisfied as I was with the end of Potter (both book and on film), a part of me still missed the universe. It had found a home in my heart next to Middle Earth and a galaxy far, far away (not the prequels), and that is quite an achievement.

    Pottermore first opened for Beta testers last year. I did not work to become a beta tester because I assumed it wouldn’t be beta tested for that long. I mean, they just got done making a major announcement that stretched the entire world about the new site! You don’t do that unless you are ready to go. I mean, it is unheard of to do otherwise.

    Well, surprising it is heard of! My bad.

    The Beta testers “owned” the site from Fall to April of this year (while the main page kept promising its opening in a month that was long gone), as I, and most of the other Potter fans waited and waited… (more…)

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  • April 17, 2012

    Upon The Ground: The Duck

    This week’s short story from my collection Upon The Ground is up at GreenSpotBlue (Here). This time it is a comedy entitled “The Duck.”

    Here is the beginning of the story:

    –

    “The Duck”

    “Do you know what that is?” The Interviewer asked in his deep, rough, slow voice. He pointed at an object on his desk. I didn’t have the slightest idea what it was. Whatever it was it was bloody and very disgusting. I quickly thought back to all my classes on job placement and interviews. No… No… No…. None of them said anything about bloody objects. The only experience I had in college with bloody objects was when I dissected that frog in Biology 101, but that wouldn’t come back to haunt me now (would it?). I decided to be honest with the interviewer. “No, sir, I don’t.”

    “That is my spleen,” he said. He sounded very proud.

    “Why, that’s nice.” I made a mental note that this man had no spleen in his body. It sounded important at the time.

    “So can you figure out why I have my spleen on display?”

    My mind frantically jumped from thought to thought. Can there truly be a good answer for why a person has their spleen removed and placed on their desk? I decided to go with the honest answer. “No, I don’t, sir.”

    By the look of disappointment on his face, I instantly knew I had given the wrong response. “Because,” he said making sure to emphasis every syllable. “I want my clients to know that I am hiding nothing from them.” He waved his hands in front of his suit. “This is what I have on the outside.” He pointed at the spleen. “And this is what I have inside.”  He made sure to make eye contact with me. “I am an open book.”

    –

    If you would like to read the rest of the story, please visit GreenSpotBlue here.

    Thanks for reading!

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  • April 16, 2012

    Let’s Talk About The Muppets

    So this weekend, I saw the new Muppets movie for my fourth time (I have a four-year old that explains that, and luckily it is still enjoyable on repeated viewings).

    I grew up on The Muppets, and in many ways adore this “love letter” the creators of the film have created. I love the little touches and references to the previous films and TV show. And, I am not afraid to admit I tear up each time they recreate the opening credits perfectly.

    That  moment is awesome.

    Since the movie was so successful, there has been talk about a new film being made, but I, even as a lifelong fan, keep wondering why?  (more…)

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  • April 16, 2012

    More writerly wisdom: Writing is like… riding a bike, lifting weights, being a spy, hearing voices, finding your passion

    After writing my last editorial, I realized one great gaping hole in it—I didn’t discuss the actual writing process, nor give any suggestions around it. Oh, there were hints (notes about outlines and reading more), but nothing that focused on the nitty-gritty of the process.

    Was I avoiding the problem? Was there a part of me that thought “They can figure it out on their own?” Possibly, but it was unfair of me personally to avoid the issue. So, I’m going to hit three of my main focuses in giving advice around writing.

    However, let me say upfront, I find it hard to give actual “creation” advice. Creation is unique to everyone—where an idea comes from and how it grows into a work is as unique as your own experience learning to ride a bike. Oh, the end product may be the same (you are on the bike), but the scratches and bruises that got you onto it are your own. (more…)

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  • April 13, 2012

    Episode Two: Time Out Of Mind

    Episode 2 of

    Time Out Of Mind,

     the sequel to

    The Dante Experience

    “The Mission Begins!”

    OPENING CREDITS

    Scene 1

    SOUND: Of Heaven.

    SOUND: Of Angel flying in quickly and landing.

    MICHAEL: (out of breath) Sorry God. I got back as soon as I could. It’s me, Angel Michael X34267-1, remember? Of course, you remember I was just here…. Sorry again about all that- Rushing off and all. Angel Jenkins is a little nervous. Whew! It’s understandable considering the circumstances. You know the possible end of reality and all and… Well, let me tell you at least what happened with Angel Jenkins after he dragged me from your throne room. He took me to the mission room where General Joseph and Dante were waiting. And then Angel Jenkins cried like a baby. (more…)

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  • April 12, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, April 2012

    I feel like over the last month, I have been doing nothing but battle a cold that will. not. stop.

    It has gone from my body into my soul.

    Was there a time when I was able to complete a sentence without a cough? Did I ever not sneeze? I can honestly say I don’t know. So as you can imagine, my list this month involves a lot of things I can sit down and enjoy… Right now I like sitting.

    Mad Men

    It’s fascinating how this show has adapted over the years.  What began as somewhat a mystery around the identity of Don Draper (and who would find out and then what???), has now become almost nothing more than a character study as we watch time pass in their lives. (Dare I call it a soap opera?)  I’m not sure if the lack of suspense or overall plot development is related to some larger vision the creator has for the season that he hasn’t shared yet, or a repercussion of the series being picked up for more seasons; in other words he has to pull his punches because he has to drag it out (The same problem you see every week with How I Met Your Mother– those poor kids listening to that non-ending story! I love a good yarn, but I would have even walked out on the story by now).

    Still I am really glad the show is back on the air and it is fun visiting the characters again. I just wish something big would drive it forward. (more…)

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  • April 11, 2012

    10 little nuggets of writerly wisdom to consider: From one struggling writer to another

    One thing a writer can not avoid is someone asking their opinion about writing or their advice for trying to make it in the field. Here, I must admit that I used to ask the same question all of the time to my writing professors or writers I would meet. It is like there is a great secret we all want in on, and the trick is finding someone that will teach you the magic handshake.

    The truth of the matter is there is no magic handshake. Yet, there is a mountain of books that claim to know— everything from how to put a pen on the paper to how to get that elusive publishing deal. Personally, I’ve always found these how-to sections at bookstores overwhelming. A person could drown in those murky waters, struggling to find the right voice and advice that works for them.

    Yet, when I am confronted by new writers who ask me about writing, my advice usually falls into the following ten points; they are ideas, suggestions, lessons, or hot air, in many ways whatever you want them to be or what works best for you. (more…)

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  • April 10, 2012

    Upon The Ground: Downsized

    A new short story is up at Green Spot Blue from my collection Upon The Ground.  This time it is the story, “Downsized.”

    Here are the first few paragraphs from the work.

    –

    “Downsized”

    He hated how his mind worked. For some unexplained reason he can remember every bad thing that ever happened to him vividly. It was saved on a video in his head for him to replay over and over again in perfect detail. And yet when he tries to remember the good times all he could remember were little things, glimpses. For example, when he thinks back on his wedding all he can remember are her eyes before he kissed her at the ceremony and the feeling of happiness.

    Feelings… Yes, the good moments survived in him more as feelings. Glows. Different hues of times that speckled his heart. His daughter’s birth was more of a bright red. His wedding was more of a clear blue like the color of her eyes.

    But when he thought back to the day his dad died it was like turning on the TV or stepping right back into that day. He could see it all around him again. He ran into the white hospital room late. Only his mother was there, holding her husband’s hand. Ted knew what was happening quickly. The room was heavy with death and all the little noises from the outside world were all strangely echoed and empty. He ran over to the bed and stood behind his mother. He laid his hands on her shoulders.

    His father looked up at him and he could read it all in his face. The pain. The time. He could see it all there as his father fought something to try and stay. The last struggle of clear desperation. He wanted to stay so badly, so badly… That expression haunted his dreams for many years and sadly became his strongest memory of his father. Only the memory of his father slipping away right before his eyes and there was nothing either of them could do.

    –

    You can read the rest of the story here. I hope you enjoy it.  Previous stories from the collection can be found via the links on the Upon The Ground page.

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