Episode Two: Time Out Of Mind

Episode 2 of

Time Out Of Mind,

 the sequel to

The Dante Experience

“The Mission Begins!”

OPENING CREDITS

Scene 1

SOUND: Of Heaven.

SOUND: Of Angel flying in quickly and landing.

MICHAEL: (out of breath) Sorry God. I got back as soon as I could. It’s me, Angel Michael X34267-1, remember? Of course, you remember I was just here…. Sorry again about all that- Rushing off and all. Angel Jenkins is a little nervous. Whew! It’s understandable considering the circumstances. You know the possible end of reality and all and… Well, let me tell you at least what happened with Angel Jenkins after he dragged me from your throne room. He took me to the mission room where General Joseph and Dante were waiting. And then Angel Jenkins cried like a baby.

Scene 2

SOUND: Of a different room.

JENKINS: (Crying) They actually want me to come along on the mission.

MICHAEL: Yeah, I know. It was my idea.

JENKINS: What? Why?

MICHAEL: Because you know Dante’s kids as well as I do and I’m needed up here.

DANTE: They’re not my kids!

JOSEPH: Dante…

DANTE: I want that stopped now. You two were the ones that picked the kids, not me. I’m innocent in all of this.

JOSEPH: (Sarcastic) Yes, and you worked really hard to stop the Limbo army from attacking Heaven.

DANTE: You are not going to blame me for that!

JENKINS: See they’re all children too!

DAN &  JOS: I know you are but what am I!

JOSEPH: (Quickly) Jinks! You can’t speak until someone says your name!

DANTE: Damn it!

JOSEPH:  (Correcting) Ah, ah, a!

JENKINS: You see what I mean Michael! I can’t deal with this.

MICHAEL: This is important Jenkins. This is more than you and me. This could spell the end for all reality.

JENKINS: So?

MICHAEL: So? (Pause) So?! (Annoyed) Jenkins!

JENKINS: Then why don’t you go if it is so important?

MICHAEL: Me?

JENKINS: Yeah, you.

MICHAEL: I… I… I can’t.

JENKINS: Why?

MICHAEL: Because I have stuff to do here.

JENKINS: Like what?

MICHAEL: Important stuff.

JENKINS: Like what?

MICHAEL: I have a date for one.

JENKINS: A date? Who would date you?

MICHAEL: I met her in an internet chatroom… She sent me some pictures and… Hey, this is none of your business!

JENKINS: So your date is more important than all of reality? Have some perspective, Michael.

MICHAEL: Stop it, Jenkins. And you say they’re immature…

JOSEPH: Now Jenkins! Stop this nonsense and listen to me. Now I’m not going to lie to you….

JENKINS: (Interjecting) Why would you lie, you’re an angel?

JOSEPH: (Continuing) …It’s going to be difficult.

JENKINS: (Moaning) Oh, god.

JOSEPH: It’s going to be dangerous.

JENKINS:  (Moaning more) Oh, no.

JOSEPH: And there is a good chance we might not make it back in one piece…. How many pieces, I don’t know.

JENKINS: Oh no! I really can’t do this, Michael.

MICHAEL: Why not?

JENKINS: I’m a coward. See I even have a membership card.

JOSEPH: I didn’t know they had a club for cowards.

JENKINS: We don’t like to tell people about it. We like to keep it a secret.

JOSEPH: Why?… (Realizing) Oh, I get it.

MICHAEL: Jenkins listen to me. You will be saving reality, as we know it. All of humanity.

JENKINS: I’m going to need a better reason than that.

MICHAEL: What?

JOSEPH: It’ll be an adventure, Angel Jenkins.

JENKINS: He’s talking mad. That’s mad talk, he’s talking.

MICHAEL: You need to do this Jenkins.

JENKINS: (Whining) But I don’t want to save the world.

DANTE: (Through closed mouth, can’t talk yet) Can we go already?

JOSEPH: That’s cheating! You know you can’t talk at all.

DANTE: (Through closed mouth) Damn it.

MICHAEL: You have to go with them Jenkins. We’re counting on you.

JENKINS: I’m not going.

MICHAEL: This is silly Jenkins. Just last year you said you wanted to join the team working for world peace.

JENKINS: Michael! Those people don’t do anything! Look at the world. Do you see them doing anything? All they do is sit around and drink beer, something I am very good at I would like to add.

MICHAEL: I can’t believe this. I’m sorry General Joseph.

JOSEPH: I kind of expected this might happen so I…

JENKINS: Planned a replacement?

JOSEPH: No, I brought a baseball bat.

JENKINS: What?

SOUND: Bonk!

JENKINS: (lightly moans and swoons and collapses).

MICHAEL: Well, that worked well.

DANTE: Wow! General that was…

SOUND: Bonk!

DANTE: (Swoons and collapses too).

JOSEPH: You can’t talk until someone says your name and no one has said your name, Dante… (Pause, then realizing he just his name) Damn it! Ok, you can talk now… Dante? Dante? Are you ok?

Scene 3

SOUND: Of heaven.

MICHAEL: And so I flew back here which brings me back to right where I was in the beginning, which is here. Hello. Now where was I? Oh, yeah, Robert was just about to propose to Alison at a picnic when the time vortex opened up and five dragons emerged. This was of course very amazing to the kids. And then after that a knight jumped out from the future and began to fight all the dragons, which is even more amazing. Of course, as you will well believe all the young adults were… ah… amazed.

Scene 4

SOUND: Of fighting in background.

STEVE: This is amazing!

ROBERT: (Sarcastic) Well, this is just really, really, really great.

STEVE: Just enjoy the fight, Robert.

KNIGHT: (In distant) Give up, evil dragons. Forsewith!

SMAUG: (In distant) Never, Knight! We will destroy the entire world! Kill him Dragons!

SUSAN: The knight’s a really good fighter. I think he’s actually going to win.

STEVE: No way. The dragons outnumber him. He doesn’t have a chance.

SUSAN: Do you want to put your money where your mouth is?

STEVE: A wager?

SUSAN: Sure.

STEVE: (Spits on hand) Shake.

SUSAN: Ewww. No.

STEVE: I think the dragons will win and destroy the world and you think the knight will win and save life, as we know it.

SUSAN: Agreed.

ROBERT: (Still upset) I can’t believe this. This ruins everything. This was supposed to be a beautiful magical day for us and…

ALISON: (Excited) This is such a cool fight. I think this is one of the greatest days of my life.

ROBERT: (Under breath) I can’t believe this. I hate myself. I want to die.

STEVE: Just think of it this way Robert. Nothing else surprising can happen today.

WILL: Hi guys.

ALL: Will!

ROBERT: What are you doing here?

WILL: Well, I’m…

SUSAN: But you’re dead.

STEVE: The last time we saw you was outside Heaven.

SUSAN: And you were dead.

ALISON: (Remembering him) Oh, that Will.

WILL: What?

SUSAN: How did you get… undead?

WILL: I want to know what she meant by ‘Oh, that Will’…

ROBERT: Nothing, Will. But how did you get out of heaven?

WILL: Well, they gave me my life back as a gift. That’s at least what the angels said to me.

SUSAN: As a gift? Really?

WILL: The angels were very persuasive in getting me my life back. Very moving.

Scene 5

SOUND: of Heaven.

ANGEL1: Dead Supervisor, we have to talk! I want Will out of here! He is upsetting God!

DEAD SUPERVISOR: But…

ANGEL1: Not buts…

DEAD SUPERVISOR: Sir…

ANGEL1: No sirs!

DEAD SUPERVISOR: Ah…

ANGEL1: No ahs!

DEAD SUPERVISOR: But…

ANGEL1: I said “No buts.”

PAUSE

DEAD SUPERVISOR: I…

ANGEL1: No Is.

PAUSE

DEAD SUPERVISOR: Ok…

ANGEL1: No oks!

PAUSE

DEAD SUPERVISOR: You’re really irking me.

Scene 6

SOUND: of field and fighting still going on in the background.

WILL: And then they gave me my life back and here I am.

ROBERT: Cool.

WILL: I’m immortal!

STEVE: Kick ass.

WILL: So what are we watching?

ROBERT: It seems to be one Knight from the future fighting five dragons.

WILL: You don’t see that everyday.

STEVE: No you don’t.

PAUSE

WILL: Any popcorn?

ALISON: No.

WILL: Too bad.

PAUSE

WILL: So who do you think will win?

STEVE: I put my money on the dragons.

WILL: What odds are you giving for the knight?

STEVE: 20 to 1.

SUSAN: I want to change our bet, Steve. I want part of the pool instead.

STEVE: Sure.

WILL: I want a piece of that action.

ROBERT: Me two.

STEVE: Ok, ok. What do you guys got?

WILL: I have some Heaven money.

STEVE: What? This is worthless to me!

WILL: Damn crappy Heaven money. Hey Rob.

ROBERT: What?

WILL: Spot me some cash Robert.

ROBERT: No way Will. You still owe me from the last time you were alive.

WILL: What money?

ROBERT: Driving expenses for the trip to Mall of America last year. Gas can be…

WILL: I died on that trip!

ROBERT: Not because of my driving!

SUSAN: Wait something is happening with the fight!

WILL: I just think after a person dies and comes back to life, it should be like a do-over. All past debts wiped clean.

ROBERT: Dream on, Will. Steve, I got a…

ALISON: (Interrupting) The dragons have the knight surrounded!

STEVE: All bets are off.

ROBERT: Damn! Look what you made me miss, Will.

SOUND: Of flames and knight screaming (the noise and scream lasts much, much longer than you could ever want it too last, then collapse).

PAUSE

ALISON: I think that might’ve hurt.

SMAUG: We’ve destroyed the knight my fellow Dragons! Let us go on to destroy humankind! To the death of man!

DRAGONS: To the death of Man!

WILL: Oh, that can’t be good.

SMAUG: Into the time tunnel! Away!

SOUND: Dragons leaving through time tunnel. Tunnel closing.

PAUSE

WILL: Well, now what do you want to do?

ROBERT: Actually, I was having a picnic with Alison, a very private picnic for two and…

SUSAN: (Interrupting) Oh, My God! What have I been doing just sitting here?! We’ve got to help that knight.

SOUND: All running away except Robert

ROBERT: But we weren’t done here, Alis….

ALISON: (calling, interrupting) C’mon Robert.

ROBERT: Oh, nevermind.

SOUND: Robert running up to conversation already in progress.

KNIGHT: …I’m a knight from the future. Those dragons must be stopped (gasping).

ALISON: Don’t speak you need to rest.

STEVE: What are you talking about? He needs to talk! We need to know what is going on?

KNIGHT: And we…

ALISON: He needs his rest.

KNIGHT: but I must save all mankind.

STEVE: See, he needs to talk.

ALISON: But he will die if he talks.

STEVE: I don’t think that is going to change Alison.

ALISON: But if doesn’t talk he will live longer.

STEVE: Oh, by seconds maybe.

KNIGHT: Listen, I must speak.

ALISON: Shh, quiet. You don’t want to stress him.

STEVE: Alison!

ALISON: What?

STEVE: let the man speak.

ALISON: No.

KNIGHT: I need to (Mouth is covered by Alison’s hand. Mumbling through hand).

ALISON: You need to rest. Don’t speak!

STEVE: Alison!

ALISON: What Steve?

STEVE: (Slowly) Take your hand off his mouth. You are suffocating him.

ALISON: So now you want to save him, Steve?

STEVE: I want to hear what he has to say.

SUSAN: Here, let me.

KNIGHT: (Taking a deep breath). Thank you (Gasping). I’m… Need to save… Future… All mankind….

WILL: That is a man with a lot of responsibility.

KNIGHT: Please… Save… Oh, my… Sylvia!

PAUSE

ALL: (Laughing)

KNIGHT: (Gasping) What… Is… So… Funny?

STEVE: Sylvia? What kind of a name is that?

KNIGHT: (Gasping worse) It’s… The… name… of… my… love…

STEVE: Please. I’m sure you can do better than that.

KNIGHT: What?

ALISON: He’s right. You are a very attractive…

ROBERT: (Interjecting) What is that supposed to mean?

ALISON: …Man. I’m sure you can find something better than someone named Sylvia.

KNIGHT: (Gasping worse) Thank… You… I… Guess.

ALISON: You’re welcome.

KNIGHT: (Gasping) So… Do… You… Come… Here… Often?

ALISON: (Quick, flirty laugh).

ROBERT: Ok that’s it! I’ve had enough! I’m done.

WILL: Hey Robert, do you have any food in that picnic basket over there. I’m a little hungry. Last time I ate was in that fast-food restaurant in hell a year ago and I am famished.

KNIGHT: (Gasping) Wait!… You… Must…

WILL: Why aren’t you dead yet?

KNIGHT: Save… World… Stop Dragons…Only… Hope… Of… All… Mankind…

ALL (Except Susan): (Suddenly bursting out into laughter).

SUSAN: Guys, stop. He’s serious. We need to do this. We need to stop those dragons. We owe him that much since we didn’t help him before. He is right, it’s our duty and…

STEVE: Oh, no, Susan’s at it again.

ROBERT: You’re right.

SUSAN: What’s that supposed to mean?

STEVE: Nothing… Nothing…

PAUSE.

ROBERT: You really don’t think he’s attractive do you, Alison?

ALISON: Well, I…

KNIGHT: (Dying) Alison!

SOUND: Of collapsing and last breath.

ALISON: (Confused) Yes?

ROBERT: How dare he! Alison’s my girlfriend!

WILL: Chill, little Robert.

ROBERT: He can’t say my girlfriend’s name as his last word! That’s my last word you jerk. That’s what I’m going to say when I die. You can’t take that away from me, you bastard! Give me back her name!

STEVE: Let go of the body Robert.

ROBERT: Stupid dead jerk.

SUSAN: Back up.

SOUND: Of things being removed.

SUSAN: Help me.

STEVE: Why are you undressing the body?

WILL: That’s so perverted Susan.

STEVE: Kinky.

SUSAN: I’m not perverted.

WILL: I mean, if you are interested in some action. I’m here and all.

SUSAN: I’m not… (Laughing) You think I would actually be interested in you.

WILL: I guess you’re right I’m… Hey!

SUSAN: And I’m just taking the computer gadgets on him, not his armor.

ALISON: (Like an excited kid) I want the laser. I get the laser.

SUSAN: Fine. Here you go.

ALISON: Cool!

SOUND: Of laser shooting.

ALISON: (Very impressed) Boss. (Then giggling like a kid).

SOUND: Of laser shooting.

ALISON: (More giggling) Hey Will!

WILL: What?

ALISON: Dig fast!

SOUND: Of laser shooting.

WILL: Ow!

SOUND: Of most laughing.

ALISON: Hey, you are immortal!

WILL: What if I wasn’t Alison? Huh? You would have killed me? How would that have…

SOUND: Of laser shooting interrupting.

WILL: Cut that out!

SOUND: Of a computer thingy turning on.

STEVE: What do you think this thing is, Susan?

SOUND: Of a few more beep.

SOUND: Of a time vortex opening.

STEVE: Kick ass. I claim dibs.

SUSAN: Let me see that.

STEVE: Hey!

SUSAN: There’s a timeline on this. This is not a black hole. This is for a… (Reading) Time Tunnel 3000. (Realizing) This must be a time traveling device.

STEVE: Really?

SUSAN: Yes, really. Let me turn off the time tunnel.

SOUND: Of Time Vortex closing.

SUSAN: Right here. Look here is where we are. He was from sometime in the…

SOUND: of a beep

SUSAN: Future. 3098 to be exact.

WILL: (Awed) That’s a long time from now!

SUSAN: Yes, Will, yes it is.

WILL: Gee.

SOUND: Of laser shooting.

ALISON: (Giggling)

WILL: Ow! I said stop it!

STEVE: So where did the dragons go, Susan?

SOUND: of a beep.

SUSAN: Paris, France. Early 1800’s.

PAUSE

STEVE: (sighing) So I guess that means you want to go there?

SUSAN: Of course we must stop the…

ALL: (sigh, interrupting)

SUSAN: What is that sigh supposed to mean?

WILL: Nothing, nothing.

SOUND: of beeping on machine and then Time Vortex opening.

SUSAN: Ok, it’s ready. Everyone into the black hole! Let’s hope we don’t die! Lets go!

ROBERT: Whoa, whoa, Susan. Let’s think about this for a minute.

SUSAN: What?

ROBERT: We don’t even know what’s going on. What did these dragons do to us?

SUSAN: They said they wanted to destroy all humanity.

ROBERT: Ok… And what else?

SUSAN: Robert, stop being a wimp. We’re the only chance that humanity has.

ROBERT: I think we should just hear the side of the dragons first before we make any hasty decisions… (Upset) And I am not being a wimp.

STEVE: Yes, you are, Robert.

WILL: Big, big, big wimp… You’re making me look good.

ROBERT: I’m just trying to be a little bit more thoughtful about this and… Oh, nevermind. (Sighing. Then he is sarcastic) Let’s jump into the time vortex and go to your stinking Paris in the 1700’s and stop the evil dragons from destroying mankind.

SUSAN: Great that’s the spirit.

ROBERT: (Sarcastic) Yeah, I’m super keen into this….

SUSAN: Good, yes.

ROBERT: (Sarcastic, more) Yeah, I can’t wait to risk my life…

SUSAN: good and…

ROBERT: (Sarcastic, even more) Oh, please let me be the first into the tunnel.

SUSAN: Even better. (Pushing him) In ya go!

ROBERT: Wait, don’t push! I was (Falling away) being sarcastic….

SUSAN: Oh… Did that sound sarcastic to you, guys?

WILL: A little.

ALISON: I thought he was being brave.

STEVE: He was definitely being something.

Scene 7

SOUND: Of whirling wind…

ROBERT: (falling and screaming. Takes a breath and starts screaming again… Coughs… And screams again.). No, I’m not enjoying this at all. (Screams again).

Scene 8

Sound: Of Heaven. Keyboard being typed on.

Michael: I love technology. I’m surfing the internet, downloading a song and I was able to find the dragons. Hmmm… They seem to be separating.

Scene 9

SOUND: Of a forest.

SMAUG: I need you to stay here and act as a distraction.

SECOND DRAGON: Distraction, right? How?

SMAUG: Make sure those people that were in that field don’t follow us. And if they do, kill them.

SECOND DRAGON: Won’t I get in trouble for that?

SMAUG: What?

SECOND DRAGON: I clearly remember it was against the rules at the theme park not to hurt a human.

THIRD DRAGON: Yeah, he is right.

SECOND DRAGON: I once stepped on a knight’s toe and got in big trouble.

FOURTH DRAGON: Yeah, remember the toe incident.

THIRD DRAGON: Oh, yeah, the toe incident.

SMAUG: Enough with the toe incident! So you stepped on a knight’s foot during a battle. Big deal. We aren’t at the theme park now… and, don’t you remember why we are doing this?

SECOND DRAGON: Ah…

SMAUG: We are getting revenge on man! We are trying to kill all humans.

SECOND DRAGON: Oh, yeah.

THIRD DRAGON: So he can step on toes?

FOURTH DRAGON: We are throwing the rules out then?

SMAUG: Now stay here and if you see them, KILL them.

SECOND DRAGON: But won’t I stand out here? I mean that, when I walk out of these woods, people will notice that I am not a human.

SMAUG: I don’t know. Try wearing a disguise or something.

THIRD DRAGON: We can really step on all the toes?

SECOND DRAGON: A disguise… Ok… hmmmm….

Scene 10

SOUND: Of Heaven

MICHAEL:  Oh, and your lordyness, I have confirmation that the first of the Dante kids has arrived in France. He has just landed. I just hope they are all smart enough to blend in and not change the time line. You know just the littlest thing can change the future. And just the fact man is traveling through time, well, who knows what that will do to all time? Whoa, my stomach hurts…. Cool! My song is done downloading. You like disco, right?

Scene 11

SOUND: Of landing on the ground.

ROBERT: Ow… That really hurt. Where am I?

SOUND: Of being outside in a different location (He is at Versailles in Paris).

ROBERT: What the…

SOUND: (of people approaching. Speaking French).

ROBERT: Where am I? What is this place?

FRENCH MAN: Oui, Versailles!

ROBERT: Paris.

FRENCH MAN: Oui. Versailles.

ROBERT: What?

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: (confused) Ok.

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: Will you say Oui to anything I say?

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: (sarcastic) Well that is just great.

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

SOUND: The people in Versailles applaud him while laughing long and hard.

Scene 12

SOUND: of Heaven. And disco music as well.

MICHAEL: See I told you this was a good song! And you said Disco was created in Hell! Don’t you want to get up and dance? (Pause) Ok, maybe you don’t.…

SOUND: Song stops.

MICHAEL: Anyway, back to the adventure, you know as well as I do, your holiness the danger of time traveling on the future. Granted, this is what the future watchers angels were supposed to keep an eye on, but as you know they dropped the ball… So right now we have five dragons and an obnoxious young adult roaming around revolutionary Paris. That is really not a good thing we’ll all agree. Oh, and you don’t even know why the five dragons are trying to destroy all reality do you? And how did the dragons come from the future? And how the heck did dragons, a make believe animal, come into existence in the first place? Those are all really good questions and…

SOUND: Bing!

MICHAEL: Lunch time! Cool, I’m starving. It’s been quite a long morning. Mind if I sit down here on the edge of your throne? I’ve a bag lunch today… Sandwich. Bologna and cheese. Nice. Pudding. O, A banana. Oh, look a note from my mom…. “I love you and I hope you make me proud. Don’t piss off God, your mom.” Well, isn’t that sweet. And I have some applesauce… Oh, I hate applesauce. Would you like it?… I mean, I really don’t, so if you want the applesauce you can have it… (Mouth full). Umm…. Bologna….

END CREDITS

Closer

ROBERT: So I guess I am in France.

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: So you people speak French, right?

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: And I took Spanish in high school. (Sigh). How do I get myself in these messes? I’m such an idiot!

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

ROBERT: Shut up!

FRENCH MAN: Oui.

FRENCH PEOPLE: (All laugh).

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