The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • December 22, 2016

    A Christmas Short Story… and a surprise coming on December 24!

    Linus and the treeHello persons of quality!

    Let’s enjoy this time of the year, for God only knows where the world will be next year at this time.  Right now I consider myself an amateur cocktail maker, but my guess is by next year I will be a pro. You notice how everyone has dark senses of humor right now? There is a reason for that. We are all chuckling with a tear.

    Happy Holidays!

    Anyway, this is the last holiday post I will be sharing (you can scroll below on the main page for my other nuggets of holiday joy; like why Neil Diamond has the worst holiday song and “The Littlest Angel” shouldn’t be in heaven). This is my short story called “Kris and Me.” I really like it a lot. Soon to be a Hallmark movie!

    (That last bit isn’t true, but you gotta think sooner or later they will call. They have been trying to get the last bit of Christmas peanut butter from that jar for a long time now. Sooner or later they have to pick up the phone.)

    I hope you will check out my story. The link is below.

    Kris and Me: A Christmas Story in 3 Parts

    And one last thing! Come back to this site on December 24 in the morning. There will be a surprise for my readers! Can I give a hint? No, you have to wait. It’s wrapped and under the tree. Well, a virtual tree, but it’s right there in gold wrapping.

    See you on December 24.

     

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  • December 21, 2016

    Neil Diamond’s “A Cherry Cherry Christmas” is the Worst Christmas Song Ever! A Holiday Musical Rant.

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    It Even he doesn't look happy with the result...takes a lot to write a worse song than “Christmas Shoes.”

    You could almost see a contest being created around the Herculean task. The title of the contest could relate to old, smelly sneakers or something.

    Yet, in 2009 Neil Diamond would have won the coveted holey shoe without any trouble at all with his “A Cherry Cherry Christmas.” (You see how I did that? Because we are talking about the holidays and I said “holey” instead of holy?… Oh, nevermind.)

    How did I escape this atrocity to the holidays for the last few years?

    It might be my first proof of Christmas angels. (And not the little ones who are all alone with no toys to play with except a shoebox… Wow, I hate that children’s book; most depressing vision of the afterlife ever.) See, I love the holiday season and one of my little embarrassing quirks…

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  • December 20, 2016

    New WKAR Book Review: A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    Current StateJust in time for the holidays!

    Today on WKAR I take on one of the greats, A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

    I’m really proud of this review and I hope you will check it out. You can listen to the review here:

    http://wkar.org/post/book-review-charles-dickens-christmas-carol

    If you would rather read my review, you can do so below.

    This was my twelfth appearance on Current State and you can hear/read my other reviews via this page on my site or on the Current State site here. I have reviewed other classics as well as contemporary books.

    I hope you enjoy my book review… and Merry Christmas!

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  • December 19, 2016

    Why The Littlest Angel is the worst holiday story… ever

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    The First Cover for the "classic"When The Littlest Angel by Charles Tazewell was published in 1946 it was a holiday phenomenon. This “classic” story has since been published numerous times (with many different illustrated versions); made into movies (cartoon, musical, and live action); and in the list of best-selling children stories of all time (!) it comes up in the top 20. 

    Heck, even holiday crooner Bing Crosby sang a song based on the plot of it! 

    I remember the first time I heard this story. It was at catechism. and the teacher read it to us as if she was bestowing a great holiday gift on us children. I can still see her smile. While the other kids casually sat near me with crossed legs, I remember really being bothered by the story. I couldn’t put my finger on it then, but that reaction to the tale has never gone away for me. And…

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  • December 15, 2016

    Writing a Good Christmas Story: Four Things to Consider

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    Santa Checking His ListI totally get it.

    Each year the media world is starving for new holiday stories. They want them for the bookshelves, for the TV screens, and the cinemas. So why wouldn’t any struggling writer (which is 98% of us) not want to give the old Santa Claus an adventure or two?

    It pays the bills and, maybe, you will unwrap the golden present. In other words, create a holiday tale that becomes a classic, one that audiences return to yearly… which can also pay the bills yearly as well.

    The problem is that for all of the attempts to make that blessed holiday classic it so, so rarely happens. Most holiday tales disappear at the end of the year. The books and the DVDs end up in the bargain bins, and the TV specials and movies are shown at random times in the early morning (if they are shown at…

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  • December 6, 2016

    Remembering Brent

    An Illustration from AustenRecently, I lost one of my heroes.

    Dr. Brent Chesley was a professor at Aquinas College and a big influence on the person I became. For a while I even wanted to be Dr. Chesley as I applied and was accepted in a Ph.D. program in Literature at Michigan State University. (In time that didn’t feel like a good match for my skills and I transferred over to the University of Southern California’s writing program where I eventually got my MFA.)

    Everyday Dr. Chesley celebrated literature.

    Everything was worthy of a discussion and everyone’s opinion mattered. To emphasize this, he would begin each class by welcoming his students as “persons of quality.” If hearing that, even on a stormy Monday, doesn’t bring a smile to your face, I don’t know what will.

    After graduation, Dr. Chesley and I stayed in touch. We would meet for lunch once a year or so, where we would discuss writing and maybe Worf on Star Trek. We kept in touch over emails and Facebook messages. Whenever I had a funny or depressing story to share about the world of literature (and my adventures in it), there would be an email out from me followed by a few from him.

    The world felt right knowing Dr. Chesley was out there. He was the fan of literature that writers dream of. Someone that will really give your writing a chance (not just skim like someone waiting at an airport) and find the possibility there. For years, he would have me come into his writing courses to speak to his students (you can listen to one of those appearances here) and a part of me always wanted to begin by saying “Do you know how lucky you are to be in this class right now?” We all have those wonders if you can go back and relive certain moments in your life which would you choose. Of course, like most people, I will point to holding my children as babies again or when my wife and I were married, but I would also include being a student at Aquinas College in that list.

    When I went off to study writing on the graduate level other students would ask why I went to Aquinas College as compared to a major university. But Aquinas College turned out to be the perfect starting place for me, and the professors that were there then, like Dr. Chesley,  were able to give me the attention and focus I needed. I wasn’t just another student dreaming of publishing stardom. I was unique and special there. And we all like to feel unique and special, don’t we?

    Pride and PrejudiceWhen I wrote my novel A Jane Austen Daydream I had to create a series of articles for websites and press releases about the book and Dr. Chesley would always sneak into them. For it was Dr. Chesley, who introduced me to Ms. Austen. As any of his former students will tell you he was obsessed with Pride and Prejudice and considered it one of the greatest works in English Literature. Today, I heartily agree with him, but before his class I would never have considered picking up one of her books. Oh, how wrong I was. It is one of the reasons why I gave him a cameo in the book, acting as the doctor in Jane Austen’s hometown.

    It still feels right to me that the doctor in Jane’s hometown is actually a doctor of literature.

    A few years after I graduated Dr. Chesley told me I could just call him Brent. It felt weird and then strangely like an honor. How many other students got to call a professor by their first name? It was something I had earned. So when I think of the person that left my life, I don’t simply think of a professor that encouraged and inspired me, I also think of a good friend… and a hero.

    Goodbye Brent. Tell Jane I said hi.

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  • November 14, 2016

    What I want to see…

    american-flagNow, please understand I am just a liberal writer with strong opinions. As you can imagine, this election has really shaken up those opinions. For the last few days, as every newscaster was declaring the doom of America, I began to wonder how Democrats and the left can turn this into a positive movement for change. For this new President and Congress can only find success if we stay silent and fragmented.

    So here it is…

    I want to see a national Democratic conference called. Maybe for as soon as next summer.

    I’m not talking a little shindig. I’m saying something on the scale of a presidential convention. It has to be loud, big, and filled with so many celebrities, and musical performances that every news station would want to be there and it will be aired everywhere.

    The evenings will be about three things:

    • Showing our diversity
    • Expressing what we will fight for
    • Introducing the next leaders to the public now

    Sure, the Obamas, Clintons, Warren and Sanders will speak to the crowds. But their speeches have to be introductions to the next leaders. We need to put faces out there now (the Castro brothers, Booker, Harris, etc.). And the speeches they give have to be powerful, inspiring. Like Obama in 2004, each has to present the image of what we envision the potential of our country.

    Finally, I would like the conference to end with an easy to follow 10-point agenda on what all democrats plan to do. These are very easy to follow, straight forward and hard to argue against. Health care, education, women’s right, equality, immigration, climate change, financial oversight, all have to be there. The plan can not disappear. It has to be talked about all of the time. It has to be talked about so often that everyone will be able to recite them, point by point.

    After the conference, Democrats have to keep talking about it, sharing quotes from the speeches. Yes, it is like starting up the next election early, but it could help with the midterms and it would put everyone on the same page. We won’t be fighting inside our own circles like in 2016. We will be together. And really America needs our voices more now than ever.

    While it feels good for me to write this, it is only an idea right now. It has to spread. So if you like this idea, write about it, share it, talk about it. 

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  • November 9, 2016

    My Favorite Article About the Election Result

    clinton-kaine-yard-sign-in-yardAs many who read my site know I have a love-hate relationship with Garrison Kellor’s writing. Sometimes I find it lazy… and sometimes he knocks it out of the park. This is one of the latter.

    He wrote this article about the election for the Washington Post and I wanted to share the link here. It helped relax me a bit.

    Trump voters will not like what happens next

    Typically, I would write more about the election myself, but I feel so numb from it. And it feels a little like shouting off the side of a mountain. It might be therapeutic for the screamer but really doesn’t accomplish or change anything.

    Twice in my life now I have seen candidates that would be great presidents win the popular vote and lose the electoral college. And this one is more painful than the last.

    This is what I wrote on my Facebook account at around 3 AM last night. I think it captures my confusion around this life changing event.

    This means everything, and I mean everything, we know about elections can be wrong. Polls (all of them) can be inaccurate, debates don’t matter, commentaries and endorsements are worthless, conventions are nothing, tax returns aren’t important, political infrastructures and operatives are a waste, representing the majority is ridiculous, forget about being the best person you can be, and the truth… well… who needs it?

    I worry for climate change and the environment. I worry for education. I worry about gun control and gender rights and women’s rights. And I worry for the world.

    Actually, I think we should all worry about that last one.

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  • October 31, 2016

    10 Things That Prove I Am Getting Old

    Father Time1. Sometimes the movies in the movie theater are just too gosh-darn loud!

    2. I don’t like emoji’s. I don’t find them cute or humorous. I find them annoying and I’m always sure the sender could have easily typed words in the amount of time it took them to find the blasted image.

    3. I rap along with The Beastie Boys each time they come up on my iPhone.

    4. I have The Beastie Boys on my iPhone.

    5. The idea of virtual reality scares me. (Not because of the technology, it’s just that it is one more thing that will emphasize to me how little I have done in my life and how unimportant I am.)

    6. When I read Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, for the first time, I related more to the grownups then the kids. Don’t those blasted kids know they are dealing with powerful dark magic! What were they thinking? No dinner! Go to your room!

    7. I still think of YouTube as a new thing.

    8. I still think of Twitter as a new thing.

    9. I was excited about Bloom County coming back… and then had to explain to everyone exactly what Bloom County was.

    10. I have a blog

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  • October 18, 2016

    Halloween Redux

    HalloweenI’m one of those nuts who thinks of Autumn as his favorite time of the years. Maybe this is a last gasp of Marching Band nerdness (Go Vikings!), but I look forward to the falling leaves, the smells, and the sheer panic we feel around our political system every two to four years. Ahhh… Fall.

    My kids really want to get more Halloween decorations for our house, but I’ve never been impressed by the market. Usually everything seems plastic and loud. And I’m definitely not the type of guy to have anything giant and inflatable on my lawn. My line about this kind of stuff is Wayne Manor. “What would Alfred allow?” I ask.

    The answer is usually not much.

    Over the years I’ve written a bit about this holiday, which you can check out below in the links. I’ve also had the pleasure of reviewing some Halloween and horror stories on WKAR Current State. I thought I would include them as well if you are looking for something a little spooky to read this year. Also, they are fun to listen to because in a few of them I try (badly) to do a scary voice. Who doesn’t need a good and embarrassing laugh from time to time?

    • Watching It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown
    • If I could wear a Halloween Costume
    • Halloween, In Spirit
    • Book Review: The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury
    • Book Review: Mr. Splitfoot by Samantha Hunt
    • Book Review: Dracula by Bram Stoker
    • Book Review: Frankenstein by Mary Shelley
    • Book Review: Bird Box by Josh Malerman
    • Book Review: Revival by Stephen King

    Boo!

     

     

     

     

     

     

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