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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • March 7, 2012

    The Mistakes of the Newbie Novelist

    Sometimes when I work with new novelists or self-published writers, I wonder (and this is awful to say) if they even really like books.

    Why is it that people are drawn to wanting to be writers?  Is the image too glamorized in books, TV, and movies? Is it for the bragging right, so they can say “Yes, I have written a book? It is right there.” Is it because it seems simple to do since we all know how to form a sentence thanks to public education? Has self-publishing companies done too good a job ruining the myth that writing is a skilled craft? What is it that draws people to take on this art, resulting in a congested market and thousands of badly written books finding their way onto amazon each year with badly made covers on photoshop?

    I wish I had an answer to all of my questions, because sometimes I want to give new novelists interventions. In other words, sit them down and ask at the beginning of the process, “Do you really want to do this? Really? Why?”

    The thing I am the most surprised about when working with a first-time novelist is how many rookie mistakes get made. Yet, they still come up again, and again, and, over time, I have begun to sound like a broken record. Here are four obvious errors that drive me crazy with some helpful recommendations for the newbies out there: (more…)

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  • March 6, 2012

    My Coke (Zero) Addiction

    Ah, sweet nectar of the Gods!

    What was life like before Coke Zero, and dare I even try to remember?

    With two kids, early mornings, and a life that always feels like it is running and then suddenly asleep, Coke Zero has replaced the blood in my veins and my heartbeat now beats to the tempo of “I would like to teach the world to sing…”

    This is my life force.

    It wasn’t always like this. No, for a time I was off soda.  Four months of semi-consciousness, bumping into walls, speaking incomplete sentences, losing words, forgetting to—I don’t know—wear socks. But thanks to my baby daughter’s teething, I was brought back into the fold and I am once again collecting My Coke Reward points like nobody’s business. Subscription to Entertainment Weekly? Nah, I’m hoping to earn enough points to take over their editorial staff (I have a strong opinion regarding their obsession around Twilight, reality shows, and Glee). (more…)

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  • March 5, 2012

    Introducing Your Child to Jazz

    Recently, I’ve been listening to jazz a lot with my children. What can I say? It is like comfort food for me. I play it in the morning, around dinner time; it’s a Scott thing. Anyway, it got me thinking of an article I wrote a while back for Green Spot Blue (a literary parenting online magazine) about jazz and parenting.

    In it, I recommend some records for the young listener and give some parental suggestions on how to listen to the music with the younglings.

    Here is the beginning of the article:

    As parents we all want the best for our kids, and our plans are filled with the best intentions.  Many times this relates to music and our desire for our kids to know more than just what is on the pop stations. Some parents may try to listen to classical more, but for me I have always chosen jazz. Jazz, above all other music genres, seems to me to sing of creativity, the thrill of thinking outside the box. Songs are filled with experimentations, expressions. You feel love more, you feel pain more. There is a story there that surpasses any you may hear in the lyrics of a country song.

    The problem is that many times when we parents sit back and look at our own musical choices, we can’t help but feel guilty. Usually it is the same artists, the same albums; we return to the comfort of what we like the most, not realizing that our child is hearing the same thing again… and again… and again….

    Well, for the parent that wants to introduce their child to America’s great original artform, might I recommend 7 classical jazz albums to share with the family. Consider this an opportunity to lose The Wiggles, this is an introduction to jazz.

    I go on in the article to recommend work by Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Louis Armstrong, Charles Mingus, and others. You can check out the article here.

    I still stand by my anti-Wiggles statement.

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  • March 2, 2012

    Episode 6 of The Dante Experience

    It is friday and Hell is calling you for episode 6 of The Dante Experience. Take the call, this is one of my favorite episodes in the series. Here is the link:

    https://sdsouthard.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/episode-6.mp3

    You can find links to the previous episodes (as well as read about the writing of the series) via the links on the Dante 3 page (top of the page, right up there^). And remember, you can find the series on amazon (here) or by contacting the production company that made it, Mind’s Ear Audio Productions.

    Here is the next chapter in the writing of the series:

    Moving Right Along

    Frankly, I moved on.

    While others may have left the Midwest Radio Theater Workshop that year inspired to make their own radio dramas, I left feeling like I had just finished a funeral and everyone else didn’t know the host was a corpse. The fact that a few years later the MRTW disbanded because of internal conflict didn’t surprise me. There was definitely a power struggle among their different heads, and each seemed to have their own vision of what radio drama can be used for. (more…)

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  • March 1, 2012

    Bears and Monkees: Jan Berenstain and Davy Jones

    It is a strange feeling when figures from your childhood pass away. You can become nostalgic for your past, while also feeling time and your own age more on the shoulders.

    I remember when Charles M. Schultz and Mr. Rogers passed away. I could have sworn I knew them and I had just lost two dear relatives. That is silly, of course; I didn’t know them. After reading books on both later on, I’m sure I would have been disappointed in meeting Schultz (he is not Snoopy in person, and did not listen to jazz at his house no matter how cool the soundtrack for the cartoons were), while Mr. Rogers would have been just like he is on TV. Why? Because he was just plain awesome like that.

    This week we lost two other individuals that had an impact on my own young years. (more…)

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  • February 29, 2012

    Walt and Me

    I was not a Disney kid growing up; I became a fan of Mr. Disney as an adult.

    It seems weird to say it, like I should be having my official “literary snob” business cards taken away, but this is one of my quirks (possibly embarrassing) and it was not something I was planning. I am a fan of the man and mainly that all stems from Disneyland.  Let me explain this better:

    It was February 2000 and I had just moved from Michigan’s snowy winter to the surrealism that is Los Angeles. I was starting mid-term in the graduate program in writing at the University of Southern California, which definitely put me in an odd position. I was the new kid and many of the cliques were already formed in the autumn, when everyone else started. Plus, to be honest, programs like this are not exactly a place where people make friends; there is a lot of competitiveness in the writing world. You want to have the respect of your professors and be in with the good writers, you do not want to be part of the other groups, trust me.

    So to say I was lonely and feeling out of sorts at that moment would be to put it mildly. I was not on my A game.

    Anyway, I was watching TV in my grungy graduate apartment (seriously, my roommate was one of the messiest people I had ever met; I was terrified to get near the kitchen, deciding to live off food from the local Starbucks and canned goods), when an ad came up for Disneyland. (more…)

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  • February 28, 2012

    An Excerpt from MEGAN, a Novel

    In the hope of doing something different, I decided today to share a scene from my novel MEGAN.  In 2009 it was honored in an international novel-writing competition which led to its publication with a new press out of Canada. It can be found on amazon.com here. It is also available as an ebook and audiobook by contacting the publisher or as an eBook from GooglePlay here.

    MEGAN is the story of Megan Wane, an imaginative soul who lives in two different worlds. In the real world, she is an event planner at a large firm, dealing with a micromanager and angry fellow employees; in her imaginary world she is a princess and secret superhero who is on a mission to save her world which was turned to blackness. Sometimes her real world slips into her imagination. In this scene Princess Megan and her two companions meet a terrifying and strangely bureaucratic dragon.

    –

    “Greetings. Hello? Over here. Hi!” The great green dragon was standing in the middle of a large open field. The field (situated where the woods once were) was surrounded by yellow torches. All of the torchlight seemed to coalesce on the dragon, making the beast look larger in the contrast of shadow and the brightness. It was the first dragon Princess Megan had ever seen and it astounded her.

    The dragon really didn’t need to direct their attention to itself. The beast was hard to miss, no matter how much the trio might have wanted to pretend that they didn’t see it. It was standing on its hind legs and was wearing a pair of thick reading glasses and a red sweater-vest. It was also holding a clipboard in its right claw and a pencil was positioned behind its left ear. “Are you Princess Megan and her two servants?” the Dragon asked when they had approached closer. (more…)

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  • February 27, 2012

    I get James Joyce… Well, no, not really

    James Joyce is the Mount Everest for English majors.  We don’t want to climb the damn mountain but if you want to be a real mountaineer, well, you have got to climb that damn mountain.

    That is how I see James Joyce and his library of creations.

    I heard it once argued that if it wasn’t for the demands of the English college classroom Joyce would not be in print today. I was initially stunned by that concept, but as the years progress I begin to believe it more and more.

    He is not someone who people pick up for a little “light” reading, and his characters and plots are not exactly the most moving. Yet, what Joyce does have is incredible creativity on the page, with language, characterization and, of course, his influence on stream of consciousness as a writing style.

    I don’t want anyone to think I am dismissing Joyce. Hardly, I think he should continue to be required reading for English majors and writers (especially those that want to do something artistic and new as compared to pulp everyday fiction which flood our bookstores each year).  He is the granddaddy of avant garde writing, especially around modern literature. I get all that… It’s just I find him… well… boring and frustrating.

    Yes, if asked to describe Joyce I would probably use words like “influential” and “modern” and “avant garde,” but in my heart I would probably be screaming “too smart for his own good.” (more…)

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  • February 24, 2012

    Episode Five of The Dante Experience

    It is Friday and time for another trip to Hell. Here is Episode Five of The Dante Experience, the radio comedy I wrote that was produced by Minds’ Ear Audio Production. You can listen via this link:

    https://sdsouthard.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/episode-5.mp3

    You can catch up on the previous episodes via The Dante 3 page (link above). On The Dante 3 page you can also get more information where you can find the series.

    Midwest Radio Theater Workshop

    So I was busy into the writing of The Dante Experience, feeling like I had clear plan ahead of me for getting the work produced. Initally, I was more than happy with the idea of doing it on just the local Michigan State radio, I had no delusions of grandeur… yet.

    Then I got the call from Joel Pierson and that changed in a hurry.

    OK, to back up, I need to say something about myself and writing. See, at this point in my life I was always entering writing competitions- short stories, plays, screenplays, etc. If there was a competition and a reasonable fee for entry (not over 40 dollars) I would enter one of my work, cross my fingers and hope my check doesn’t bounce. Contests are a great way to build some name recognition and do something about the writing resume. (more…)

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  • February 23, 2012

    Recommending Woody Allen…

    When I was 14, I wrote a letter to Woody Allen.

    I’m pretty sure it was a long letter (I never skimped on words), detailing how I wanted to grow up and be just like him. It’s not like I really wanted to be him, per se; I just loved the idea of the freedom he had to make the stories he wanted to tell. See, even then I could tell this was a storyteller not only having the creativity in abundance, but the capability to let that creativity reach its heights.  As an adult, I am even more floored by his ability.

    So my letter begged for advice. What did I expect from him? I couldn’t say, I was a kid trying to latch on to some kind of a future, like any typical young teen. Maybe I was hoping he would send me a plane ticket and take me in as an apprentice?  He didn’t write back, of course, but he did send an autographed picture, which I still have today.

    There is a chance that Midnight in Paris, Woody’s most recent film will take home the Oscar for Best Screenplay (It is also nominated for Best Picture), and I think well deserved. Of course, Woody won’t show up for the award.  That is not Woody’s way, and I find that also very bad ass.  Simply put, he is too busy making his movies to stop and take an award for the past, he is already on the next story, the future.

    These, as a Woody fan, I would recommend as first dips into his library. (more…)

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