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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • October 13, 2015

    “Hey Jupiter” by Tori Amos

    JupiterThis is the seventh in my “With Music” series, where I look back at a point in my life through a song.  The stories are diverse as the music I reference. The other entries included (with links to the posts) Ben Folds Five, Sheryl Crow, Beth Orton, Dean Martin, The Verve, and Barenaked Ladies.

    –

    There is a good chance that Jupiter was hit by lightning.

    This happened when I was living in Los Angeles, which makes this story even more strange. For those that don’t know, when any kind of storm happens in LA, everyone freaks out. New stories are abound about car crashes and flooding. Growing up in the Midwest, you couldn’t help but see the overreaction as something rich for comedic possibilities. Heaven forbid, someone has to wear a rain coat. Can you believe it? What next? Snow and a winter jacket?

    Cynicism aside, it was after one of those bizarre storms that I first noticed that something was wrong with Jupiter, my black Pontiac Grand Am.

    Jupiter was not the first car I had owned on my own, it was my second. My first car was a cute little blue Pontiac that seemed to have a knack for getting in accidents. The first time I got in an accident with it, I was driving home from my job (with a college class scheduled for that night), when I slammed into the car in front of me. I was listening to They Might Be Giants at the time and you can actually hear the car crash on the tape.

    It sounds like a hollow screech, almost as if someone with an owl interrupted a TMBG performance.

    The accident was outside an Arby’s and I had to run across the street to the restaurant and call the cops (days before everyone had a cellphone). The teenager behind the counter looked put out by the fact they had to call 9-1-1. Personally, I couldn’t have cared less how they felt about it. I felt lucky to be alive. My car folded like a piece of paper and I saw my life flash before my eyes as that much-better made SUV got closer and closer to my face. I’m still alittle surprised I got out of that accident without a scratch or injury.

    While waiting for a police car, to my surprise, one of my cousins pulled into the Arby’s and made some casual chit-chat about my very recent near-death experience.

    “Hey, Scott, saw your car.”

    “You mean the one in the middle of the road, flattened?”

    “Yeah, wow. That is just… wow. So I thought I would stop in and see if you are okay.”

    “I’m alive.”

    “That’s great. Do you want me to tell your folks?”

    “That I’m still alive? That would be nice.”

    “Okay, see you later. I got to go, running some errands, but I’ll give them a call once I get home.”

    Definitely one of the oddest little exchanges I have ever had in my life. Even the worker behind the counter thought it was weird and offered me a free soda.

    I took the soda. (more…)

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  • October 8, 2015

    If I could wear a Halloween costume…

    I’ve been suffering through a cold the last few days. It has made me a little… well… honestly… lazy and tired. This is a slow Scott writing today.

    So here is a good blogpost from a few Octobers ago. I’ll be back up and writing in the next week. (Oh! And enter that Goodreads book giveaway when you get a chance- it’s to the right.)

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    Trick or TreatAs an adult, it takes a certain amount of courage to put on a costume. Let me correct that…  it takes a certain amount of courage and alcohol to put on a costume.

    A costume draws people’s eyes towards you almost like being on a stage except it’s more personable. There isn’t the protective separation because of spotlight and distance. It’s real, you are a dude dressed up and they can see you… and talk to you.  

    I have always been impressed with people that have the strength to put on a costume. I look at them with a certain amount of awe, even those that attempt the cheaper creations. Of course, there is nothing like a great one though. For example, there is a woman down the street that on Halloween will dress-up as the Wicked Witch of the West from The Wizard of Oz and she has…

    View original post 1,429 more words

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  • October 2, 2015

    “Artistic and Engaging” Rabid Readers Review PERMANENT SPRING SHOWERS

    5983525905_c15314cd0b_oRabid Readers was one of the first book review sites to take on my last novel A Jane Austen Daydream. Today I was thrilled to discover that they reviewed my latest novel, Permanent Spring Showers.  My new book is definitely not in the same time period as my last one. I’m incredibly happy they enjoyed it as well.

    Here is my favorite bit from this great review:

    Southard exposes the sometimes illogical nature of human interactions while questioning many of the concepts that are considered absolutes in our daily lives. When is the cost of the choices we make too high? Is that a consuming feeling love or attraction? Southard’s writing style is smooth and lyrical so that a subject that might be incomprehensibly difficult becomes plausible. Southard writes men and women and their motivations with an equally light hand.

    You can read the entire review here. Check it out!Permanent Spring Showers

    This is a great time to grab a copy of my latest work. The eBook is only $3.99! You can find it on Amazon here. Permanent Spring Showers is published by 5 Prince Books. You can also find out more about it (and read an excerpt) on this page on my site.

     

    Goodreads Book Giveaway

    Permanent Spring Showers by Scott D. Southard

    Permanent Spring Showers

    by Scott D. Southard

    Giveaway ends October 28, 2015.

    See the giveaway details
    at Goodreads.

    Enter Giveaway

    https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/widget/155531

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  • September 30, 2015

    “Break Your Heart” by Barenaked Ladies

    GrouchoThis is the sixth in my “With Music” series, where I look back at some point in my life and a song that had an impact on me. The other entries included (with links to the posts) Ben Folds Five, Sheryl Crow, Beth Orton, Dean Martin, and The Verve.

    –

    I have always wished that I was smooth. There are many things I am in this world, and smooth is not one of them. Even today, when I try to say something like right out of a romantic movie my wife will roll her eyes. I just can’t pull it off.

    The fact is before I was happily married, I was worse. I was a dating disaster with a smile. I was just a fast-talking, highly-judgmental and awkward disaster. I could be charming from time to time, sure (we all have our moments), but I could also be very frustrating. And, typically, if I could tell where the “story” was going in the relationship, I was already looking for the next thing.

    In a way, I blame books.

    They make love seem so complete, don’t they? A person falls in love, gets in a strong relationship and the story might as well end there, right? Life is complete! Now where is the epilogue?

    So the problem with me in the single days is I would get bored, especially if a relationship got predictable. I liked to be surprised, feel like I was part of something outside the ordinary. I was the weird conundrum of wanting something stable but something crazy as well.

    You know what the biggest turnoff for me was back in those old single days? Actually, liking me. I was the dating equivalent of that quote from Groucho Marx. You know the one: “I don’t want to belong to any club that will accept people like me as a member.” Well, that was me in dating. And when you are continuously seeking out people not interested in you, there is no possibility of happiness for anyone.

    This is not a story about an embarrassing moment. This is a story about when I realized I wanted the embarrassing moments to end and the song that got me there. (more…)

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  • September 28, 2015

    Banned Books Week (Sept 27 – Oct 3)

    BBW-logoWe are in the midst of Banned Book Week, that time each year when readers and authors alike scan articles and essays about attempts to ban books from libraries and schools over the last year and wonder “What the heck is going on here?”

    I’ve had the pleasure for the last three years of doing the book reviews for my local NPR station (WKAR) as part of their show Current State, and each year I try to take on another book that has faced the always surreal argument for censorship.

    • This year I reviewed The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger. You can listen to my discussion or read my review via this page.
    • Last year, I reviewed Mark Twain’s classic The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn. You can check that our here.
    • During my first year as part of Current State, I discussed the importance of this holiday and why we need to reflect on it via this audio essay.

    I’ve also snuck in over the years other authors that have faced censorship, including (with links) Ray Bradbury, Kurt Vonnegut, Judy Blume, Harper Lee, and J.K. Rowling. In the future, I will be reviewing Margaret Atwood and Salman Rushdie, so this is not slowing down for me anytime soon.

    I hope you enjoy checking out some of these book reviews and try to read something a little controversial this week.

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  • September 24, 2015

    New WKAR Book Review: J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye

    Current StateNext week is Banned Books Week, so today on WKAR’s Current State I took on one of the most banned books in American Literature, The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger.

    You can listen to my new review here: http://wkar.org/post/book-review-jd-salingers-catcher-rye

    If you would rather read my review, you can do so below.

    Hey, did you know Current State has a podcast? If you subscribe, you can download episodes and segments (and you can find me every other Thursday). Here is a link to find it on iTunes- https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/wkar-fm-current-state/id594609653?mt=2

    If you want to check out my other book reviews for WKAR’s Current State, you can do so via links on this page. (more…)

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  • September 24, 2015

    New giveaway! Two will win an autographed copy of Permanent Spring Showers!

    5983525905_c15314cd0b_oTwo will win an AUTOGRAPHED copy!

    “What a ride this book was! I can honestly say it was an inspiring novel, and very unique! With a cast of lively, artistic characters and a spin so hard it will leave your eyes wide and jaw hanging until the very last word.” -The Booknatics

    “A tour de force.” -BooksChatter

    Funny, Smart, Sexy, and very surprising, Permanent Spring Showers is the new literary fiction novel by Scott D. Southard (me), author of A Jane Austen Daydream.

    Professor Rebecca Stanley-Wilson is having a very bad season. Her husband has just admitted to having an affair. And it was with one of her students.

    Blame it on a desire for revenge (or way too much alcohol), she then has had one of her own. Unfortunately for her, her affair was with one of the great upcoming painters of his generation. The ramifications of that one torrid evening will not only be felt across her life but over the entire art world.

    Permanent Spring Showers is the tale of one very memorable springtime and how it impacts a group of unique artists and dreamers. From the writer who is creating a new literary movement (through outright manipulation), to the hopeful Olympian with the failing marriage, to the romantic wondering what he did wrong to drive his love from him, each tale walks the line between reality and fantasy. And waiting at the end of the line is a very important painting.

    You can learn more about the book (read articles, excerpts and reviews) via this page on my site. You can enter the giveaway via Goodreads.com, by clicking in the banner below.

    Good luck!

    Goodreads Book Giveaway

    Permanent Spring Showers by Scott D. Southard

    Permanent Spring Showers

    by Scott D. Southard

    Giveaway ends October 28, 2015.

    See the giveaway details
    at Goodreads.

    Enter Giveaway

    https://www.goodreads.com/giveaway/widget/155531

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  • September 21, 2015

    Embracing the Charlie Brown Within

    As anyone who has followed my site knows, I am a big Peanuts nerd. I’ve been collecting the complete Schulz’s work for years. I even wrote a blogpost breaking down the joys and perfections of “It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.”  (I kid you not! Check it out here.)

    Well… I honestly don’t know if making The Peanuts Movie is a good idea without Charles M. Schulz around (and really he wanted everything to stop after he died); however, I did like the trailer and today on their site (here) you can make yourself a Peanuts character.

    So as a big Snoopy nerd, here I am, living the dream…

    profile-picture-1442861925Yeah, I can’t stop smiling about this.

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  • September 14, 2015

    “Lucky Man” By The Verve

    ZombieAnother music and memory post today!  This is the fifth in my “With Music” series. The others  so far included a song by Ben Folds Five (you can read it here), Sheryl Crow (here), one of the best songs ever by Beth Orton (here) and an embarrassing love for a Dean Martin single (here).  This time, I take on a lost week and a zombie.  Enjoy!

    –

    The easiest way to describe radio drama in the United States is to compare it to a zombie.

    While in England and other European countries you can still find radio dramas (new and old) on their stations (many time with famous actors and writers supplying the talent), here it is something different. When television came around, the media world couldn’t have dropped it faster and all of the radio celebrities ran from the waves to the boxes.

    Here is the thing though; it is not dead… well… not entirely.

    It struggles, it grunts and it staggers forward, hands outstretched, craving listeners to bring it back, make it truly alive again. Not brains, ears is what the monster craves. Ears… Ears!

    I have always had an obsession with radio plays. I remember the first time I heard The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy. It was like a revelation. Douglas Adams took his crazy idea and with some sound effects and wonderful actors made a movie in my head that was better than any I could have hoped to have seen. I went from there to The Firesign Theater and then to old time radio. There was an AM station in my area that would play it randomly late at night, and as a kid I would stay up, leaning over the player, ready to press record on my tape deck if a show I loved came on.

    There is something awe-inspiring to me about radio plays. They take really little to produce, anything can be a sound effect (Douglas Adams made the sounds of the end of the universe with a bath tub, for example), and you were playing in the mind of someone else. And since radio dramas rarely get bogged down with descriptions, the listener is really an active audience, dressing the characters and the set with their imagination. It’s a personal experience, and the audience can own it as much as the performers.

    So when I started to dream of being a writer, my first thoughts were all about radio. I wanted to capture the zombie and give it new life, I didn’t want to be eaten.

    Yes, I dreamed of feeding it ears. (more…)

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  • September 13, 2015

    Book Review: Star Wars Aftermath by Chuck Wendig

    Star Wars Aftermath

    Book Review: Star Wars Aftermath by Chuck Wendig

    A lot of people are going to be disappointed in this book.

    Some are going to hate the fact how little it sets up the next movie, answers questions we have, tells us what happened to our favorite characters in our favorite galaxy.

    Others are going to be bothered by how this book is made for fans, not the everyday, casual reader. Alien names are thrown around with abandonment, assuming the readers know what they look like. Minor characters from the movies walk in and out of scenes as if we should know who they are. It is not a friendly book and will not draw new readers to future books. Even I, a lifetime fan of Star Wars, would probably need convincing before picking up another Star Wars novel.

    For me though my biggest disappointment was with the writing. The author lists himself as a screenplay writer and that is obvious since it feels like a screenplay in many ways. Simple. Straight to the point. Dry. There is no literary art here, no sweeping moment of prose that will take you away. Nothing that embraces what makes books and literature a unique medium for telling a story. Honestly, I don’t think I could pick out any of the characters in a police lineup if I had to.

    Then there are the “cute” moments in the book. The slight nod to Game of Thrones (the “Shooty” end of a blaster), the dialogue that sounds a little too contemporary as compared to from a galaxy far, far away. With such great writing done for The Clone Wars and Rebels TV shows, it is sad they couldn’t have found one of those writers to take it on. But you know with the love of Star Wars now, imagine if they could have gotten a real author to do it? The mind boggles at the idea. I cannot imagine any author from Generation X and younger saying no to the possibility. Why not try that in the future Disney? (Of course, I would rather write an Indiana Jones adventure, but that is just me.)

    In the end, everyone will be disappointed… well, everyone probably but the author, his agent, and Disney’s pocketbook.

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