Talking to a mechanic or a car dealer is like talking to a Dr. Seuss character for me. Seriously, they could say anything and I would believe it.

The fop-whistle on the groaning plate is off by three particles.

Sure, I reply and nod.

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Apparently, the peanut butter cup pancakes at Denny’s are only good in theory.

Who designs their menu? Is it just a bunch of guys debating over beers? This is how I imagine the discussion of their “master chefs” in the corporate offices:

“Should we add more chocolate chips?”

“Good idea, people love chocolate (Burp).”

“Good one.”

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It’s been over 20 years since I have been in a marching band, so why is it that I still walk in tempo?

AND when I try not to walk in tempo a part of my brain seems to revolt in disgust. I just can’t do it. It feels like a success and a failure all at the same time.

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I need a new car.

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The Marc Webb Spider-Man films (with Andrew Garfield as the webslinger) are far superior to the ones made by Sam Raimi with Tobey Maguire. I really feel for the filmmakers since they have to come after the hoopla of those earlier films. They just can’t win.

Also, what makes these new films so superior to the other films (and many other superhero films) is I am emotionally invested in the character. Yeah, I teared up at both the first one and the sequel. I can’t even name another superhero film where I had that experience.

In many ways, those films belong to Peter Parker not to Spider-Man.

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I really need a new car.

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Okay, I get that you shouldn’t feel that emotional during a superhero film. I mean, how many times have we seen Batman’s parents get snuffed out and have you cried ever? Ever??? I have never cried at it.

Every superhero story has loss like that. So are we just conditioned to expect the hit? Just like with the buddy in any cop movie who is about to retire and has a new boat?

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If I was to name a new car what would it be? The geek side of me wants to name it something related to Doctor Who.

TARDIS would be too easy. And would also put the bar pretty high for the vehicle.

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The car being repaired was purchased brand new back in 1999. The first date I had in it was a roadtrip to a concert with Alanis Morissette and Tori Amos together. (It was a lousy date, but a good show.)

I named the car Jupiter that night after the Tori song and the god.

Sadly, the car never lived up to the name… Well, the god part. The song is a little depressing and the car could be that as well.

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When I was living in LA I experienced two riots, both around the Lakers winning.

During the first one, I was living in my graduate apartment and I saw on TV people partying around a parking lot. It took only a minute for me to register that I was watching someone jumping up and down on my own car.

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For quite a few years (when my brother and I were sharing the car) we had a theory that it was hit by lightning once. Weird electrical things would happen all the time.

Like all of the interior lights would flash, or random things would turn off. (“Who needs brakes?”) I took it into a shop again and again, but the issue was never discovered.

So an act of God.

Hey wait! Didn’t Jupiter used to shoot lightning at people all of the time. Whoa…

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How about a name related to a companion of the Doctor? Amy and Rory wouldn’t work (and Rory is hard to say). River Song is a great name (and a great character).

You know the funny thing is that if I was the Doctor the only companion I would have picked to travel with me would have been Martha Jones. She was an actual doctor with medical training! I mean, all of the companions are great (I’m still getting to like Claire, honestly), but she had a resume that made it look like she could handle the trip and be helpful. There was no guarantee (none at all) that any of the others could have hit that mark.

My wife likes to argue that she would be an amazing companion to the Doctor (and she is very right). We have actually made an agreement that if the Doctor did show up for her, she can go.

We’ll all be fine, just waiting by the old car (not TARDIS) for her return.

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I really, really need a new car.

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How about “Bad Wolf?”

Or “Spidey?”

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If you liked reading this post, why not check out one of my books? I’ve had four novels published in the last few years, A Jane Austen Daydream,  Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare, My Problem With Doors and Megan. You can find them via my amazon.com author page here, or as an eBook on Google eBooks here.  Thanks for reading!

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