“For now, let me warn you of the morbid and sad tale ahead of you. This is a
tale filled with horror, dark passages, ghostly apparitions, and deaths I would
give my last shilling to forget.”
For a limited time (and just in time for holiday shopping and holiday travels), my novel MAXIMILIAN STANDFORTH AND THE CASE OF THE DANGEROUS DARE is on sale on Amazon!
The eBook version is only 99 cents and the print version is only $9.89! If you enjoyed my other books (like A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM) or are curious about my fiction or simply want to read something new, different, and unlike anything you will find… well… anywhere, this is for you!
Honestly, this is not a book for everyone and I adore it for all of its madness. It is the kind of book as a reader I would love to discover lost and dusty on a library shelf. My goal in it was to break down the idea of storytelling and see what remains in the ruins of it… with a lot of humor, romance, horror and mystery roped in as well.
You can find the novel on amazon here (http://amzn.com/B00CXSDEBE).
If you would be interested in kicking the tires first, there is an excerpt below and more via the page for the book on this site here.
An Excerpt from The Lost Saint and the Devil
Chapter 13 of MAXIMILIAN STANDFORTH AND THE CASE OF THE DANGEROUS DARE
In the dreaded McGregor Castle, our heroes recently discovered a giant wolf feasting on a man’s leg. They escaped and have found their way to the armory…
“No, Bob, no!” Maximilian said, grabbing the knife out of my hand. “If he is that close and you need to use a weapon of that size, you are already in far too much trouble and should just accept your fate as dinner.” He walked away from me back to the arsenal he was creating for himself. He picked up the broadsword he used the day before. “Think big, Bob. Think heavy. Think damage.”
I stepped forward to him. “I thought of the knife for speed. It just seems to me with a larger weapon I would have less chance for more than one swing.”
Maximilian paused with an anxious look on his face. “You’re right, but with a creature like that, what more can we hope for? You saw its…” He looked around and noticed the suits of armor we fought the day before. His lips finished his sentence, even though his mind was on those suits. “…large piercing claws.”
“You know this takes away the element of surprise,” I said through the visor of my helmet.
“I can’t hear you, Bob!” Maximilian shouted at me through his helmet. “It all sounds like mumbling to me.”
I raised the visor of my helmet and spoke again. “This takes away the element of surprise.”
Maximilian raised the front of his helmet as well. A strange smirk was on his face. “Bob, you can speak as clearly and loudly as you want, but it won’t help. I have metal around my ears.” He lowered the visor of his helmet, sticking his tongue out at me as he did so.
I sighed and did the same. I’m sure we were quite a sight. The suits of armor were clearly too large for us, so under no circumstance could we have worn the entire outfit. We had the upper body of the armor plates on (which extended below our waists, making our gait almost comical). Even though we did not wear the leg armor, we were still making a great deal of noise with each step.
I was carrying a great axe. Maximilian had his broadsword resting against his shoulder. How did knights fight in these things, I wondered. It was far heavier than the weapon I had in my hand.
“Do you remember where the man was?” I asked. “These hallways all look the same to me.”
Maximilian raised the visor of his helmet again and playfully frowned at me. “Bob, I can’t hear you. I can’t hear a damn thing in this helmet!” He lowered the visor and took a few more steps. “Bob, do you remember where the man was?”
I stopped, raised my visor and glared at him. “I thought you couldn’t hear.”
He stopped as well and raised his visor. A fake curious expression traced his face. “What? Did you say something?”
“You said you couldn’t hear me!”
“Bob, for the last time, I can’t hear you! I can’t hear anything.”
“But you repeated me! You repeated me word for word!”
“Bob, whatever you are saying, I’m sure is fascinating and life changing, but I can’t hear you! Now where did we leave that man?” He turned away from me and began to sing. “A–hunting we will go, a–hunting we will go! Hi, ho…”
I raised my heavy armor to point at him, interrupting his song. It took a great effort to raise my arm and it was loud. “You might think you are being very funny, sir, but right now I am scared out of my wits!”
His visor fell as he looked back at me and he noisily raised it as best he could. “Bob, I’m scared too, but we don’t have time for this. Do you remember where the man was?”
“Ah ha!” I shook my finger at him. “I knew you could hear me!”
“What?” he asked with a phony expression on his face. “Are you saying something?”
I dropped my arms to my side. “Fine! Fine, be that way, sir. Be funny at a time like this. Do what humors you.” I gripped my axe in both hands and walked ahead of him thinking words I couldn’t share.
He began to sing again. “I’m deaf. I’m deaf. I’m deaf. La la la. I can’t even hear myself sing. La la la. I hope I am in tune!” When that didn’t get a reaction, he began his taunting again. “Bob,” he called after me. “Do you remember where we left that man?”
I stopped and dropped my axe to my side, took off my helmet and threw it. “That is it! I have had enough!” I turned to face him, angry, picking up my axe quickly and raising it at him.
He raised his visor and he had a big smile on his face. “Oh, be a man, Bob. I’m just teasing, lightening the mood. You have to agree we both look fairly foolish right now.”
“Be a man? Be a man?” I asked frustrated, paced in a quick circle and then pointed the axe at him. “You are acting like a child!”
“See here, Bob,” Maximilian laughed. “I pay you.”
“We’re hunting a wild creature that seems to have a taste for man-flesh. It doesn’t seem to me the right time for a joke.”
“Fine, Bob, fine,” Maximilian said, sighing. “I’ll stop… please lower your axe. It is most disconcerting.”
I glared at him, leaned my axe against the wall and nosily crossed my arms. “Maybe I am ruining this comic moment for you by asking this, but what do we do if these suits of armor decided to come to life now?”
“Oh, don’t worry, Bob,” he said and loudly patted my shoulder. “I would kill you in an instant. Let’s keep moving.”
I picked my axe back up, looked around and sighed heavily. All the hallways looked the same. What was the point of this search? The wolf probably carried his victim off anyway. “I have no idea where we are…. What are we doing?” I moaned.
I turned back to look at Maximilian. His visor was down. “I can’t hear you in this thing, Bob, so sorry!” His voice was in a high mocking singsong style.
I was about to run at him and tear the helmet off his head when I heard a moan. I stopped. Maximilian didn’t speak.
Was that a human moan?
There it was again!
MAXIMILIAN STANDFORTH AND THE CASE OF THE DANGEROUS DARE is on sale now on Amazon! You can find it here (http://amzn.com/B00CXSDEBE).
I hope you enjoy my crazy little book as much as I had creating it.