“Jack Tries to Buy an Electric Car!” A new episode of the Jack Benny Program

Have you ever had a day when you just wanted to write an episode of the Jack Benny Program, as if the radio show was still on the air? (Or is that just me?) What would they be talking about today? Enjoy!

“Jack Tries to Buy an Electric Car”

OPENING CREDITS

MUSIC: Fast-paced “Yankee Doodle Dandy”

DON WILSON: (Quickly) It’s the Jack Benny Program! Starring Mary Livingston, Phil Harris, Dennis Day, and yours truly, Don Wilson.

SOUND: Audience applauds.

MUSIC: Fades out.

ACT ONE

SOUND: Nature, quiet Sunday. Birds chirping. Cars quiet in the distance.

DON: Quiet Sunday afternoons can make any man contemplative, even Jack Benny. Today we find our esteemed host walking through his neighborhood deep in thought.

JACK BENNY: (Thoughtful) Well, this neighborhood certainly has changed over the years… Neighbors have come and gone. Some have died, some have moved. I only sued a few of them…

SOUND: Laughter

JACK: Fifties… Sixties… I was here for the Beatles. Now two of them are deceased and the other two are in their 70s. (Pause) I’m still 39.

SOUND: Laughter

JACK: Don’t know how I do it. Yet, even at this age, I still see the tripping of time… Maturity that is what you get with the days. You can’t be young and foolish forever.

DENNIS DAY: Excuse me, Mr. Benny have you seen my little red wagon?

SOUND: Audience cheers and laughs

JACK: Dennis!

SOUND: Laughter

JACK: (Holding back his own laughter) What did you say, Dennis?

DENNIS: My little red wagon. Yes, my little red wagon. (sing-song style) Oh where, oh where can it be?

SOUND: Laugh

JACK: Dennis, I have known you for so many years, how are you still so incredibly ridiculous?

DENNIS: A daily regimen of pushups, vitamins, hijinks and tomfoolery.

SOUND: Laughter

JACK: Dennis, have you noticed how much the world has changed? How the world has begun to embrace multiculturalism, and different voices and talents seem to rise every day. Oh, some fight against the changes, but they can’t stop the tide of change. They will lose in the end, you can’t stop positive change. It is definitely not the privileged world we knew back when our radio show first aired.

DENNIS: (Frustrated) Have you seen my red wagon or not?

SOUND: Laughter Continue reading

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My Updated Star Wars Order

I saw the incredibly fun Solo over the weekend, so I thought it was time to update my Star Wars order.

This lists includes movies and TV shows. Honestly, if I was to include the books I would throw them all at the end… and then throw myself off a bridge.

(Seriously, can’t Han, Leia, and Luke have a break for a few years? They all must suffer from PTSD, those poor people. But just imagine the possibility— a serious grown-up novel about Han and Leia dealing with a baby, relationships and the stress of just normal living in a galaxy far, far away. That is a book I would love… but, no, something else has to be saved and we are all supposed to be on pins and needles. Will they make it Star Wars authors? Will they!?!)

The official Star War order of greatness, from best to worst:

1 Rogue
2 Empire
3 Hope
4 Solo
5 Last
6 Return
7 Force
8 Rebels
9 Revenge
10 Clone
11 Attack
12 Menace

Let the debate begin!

Just got my copy! #HappyAuthor #JaneAustenIsBack

Did you get your copy yet?

A Jane Austen Daydream is Available on Amazon UK and Amazon US

Book Tour, Day 4: “Obsessed With Every Page” New Book Review!

On Day 4 of the book tour, I awoke to a wonderful review of A Jane Austen Daydream by Pursuing Stacie. How wonderful, you might ask? It included lines like this:

(By the by, THANK YOU, Mr. Southard! I need everything you’ve ever written.)

How do you not smile when you read that? (Oh, and for those that want to know more about my writing, check out the links and info to the right of the post. There is more work out there by me, I swear!)

Here is another excerpt from the review:

I felt that I was given the gift of getting to know Ms. Austen on a personal level; her private life, her struggles, her hopes and even (in my opinion) her failures. The author took those gaps in her narrative and began filling them in. He took a beloved author, threw in some fact, dropped in some fiction and stitched the whole package together with a raw authenticity.

You can read the entire review here. Thanks Pursuing Stacie for the smile this morning.

A Jane Austen Daydream is Available on Amazon UK and Amazon US

 

Book Tour, Day 3: Book Spotlight on Let Them Read Books

Today, something a little different on the book tour for A Jane Austen Daydream. On Let Them Read Books, I was asked to say something about Jane Austen’s father. An interesting question because there is the real reverend, and then the fictional one in the book.

Here is how I begin my discussion:

George Austen was born in 1731. He met his wife Cassandra at Oxford. They would go on to have six sons and two daughters; the youngest, they named Jane.

If A Jane Austen Daydream was a typical historical fiction, I would point to research and letters to find Jane Austen’s father. I would paint his characters with his sermons, lessons, and what he wrote to his children, basically anything that I could find… but A Jane Austen Daydream is not a normal historical fiction.

You can read more about Jane’s pop and learn more about my novel here.

A Jane Austen Daydream is Available on Amazon UK and Amazon US

 

Book Tour, Day 2: “Highly Recommended” Book Review and Spotlight

Hi everyone and welcome to day 2 of the book tour for the fifth anniversary edition of A Jane Austen Daydream. There are two different sites to check out today!

First, A Jane Austen Daydream was reviewed by Kate Braithwaite, author of The Road to Newgate. Here is my favorite paragraph from her fun review:

Serious bravery is required to take on Jane Austen and mess with her in fiction. Janeites know their stuff. Even non-Janeites (like me) know quite a bit. I’ve read all the books. Some of them several times. And I’ve a sketchy knowledge about Jane Austen’s life, at least in terms of her death and love life. But I’m confident that fans of Austen who open this book in the right spirit – ready to be entertained and enjoy a Jane that might not quite match up to their own preconceptions – will thoroughly enjoy their trip to a well-written, witty Regency England, full of references to those six wonderful books. Highly recommended.

You can read the rest of her review here.

Also, A Jane Austen Daydream is being spotlighted on Before the Second Sleep. In the spotlight, I write a bit about my writing process on this novel. Here is an excerpt:

…I needed to write a book that felt like an Austen novel, but at the same time, new. Two, I needed to tell a story in the voice of Austen, but yet, I wanted it to be a “friendly” voice for the casual reader. So, everything had to be a recognizable (plot and characters) … and surprising and different and witty and charming and emotional and passionate and unpredictable. Whew!

You can read more from me and discover more about the book here.

A Jane Austen Daydream is Available on Amazon UK and Amazon US

 

 

Book Tour, Day 1: Book Spotlight on The Writing Desk

Today begins the Book Tour for the fifth anniversary edition of A Jane Austen Daydream!

Tony Riches is a historical fiction author and oversees The Writing Desk. (You should check out some of his writing!)

On the site he shares some information on my novel and I share some of my thoughts on how A Jane Austen Daydream is not your typical historical fiction novel. A lot of sharing going around. Here is an excerpt from my talk:

It is not a normal historical fiction, it could almost be considered experimental literary fiction because of some of the twists I put in it (which I won’t discuss here, more fun to discover them for yourself). This is my daydream for Jane. It is her, living in one of her tales (a new one, with new surprises).

You can read the rest of the discussion, as well as learn about my novel and this edition, at The Writing Desk here. I hope you will check it out!

A Jane Austen Daydream is Available on Amazon UK and Amazon US

Blog Tour: A Jane Austen Daydream by Scott D. Southard

Blog tour coming up! Can’t wait to introduce more readers to this work. I hope you follow along!

Novel Expressions Blog Tours

A Jane Austen Daydream by Scott D. Southard Tour Banner

Novel Expressions Blog Tours is proudly hosting a tour for A Jane Austen Daydream by Scott D. Southard on, April 23rd – 27th !

FIVE YEAR ANNIVERSARY EDITION

Now with a new foreword and an updated cover showcasing Jane’s own handwriting, this re-imagining of Jane’s life continues to charm and delight readers of literary fiction worldwide.

*************

perf5.500x8.500.inddAll her heroines find love in the end–but is there love waiting for Jane?

Jane Austen spends her days writing and matchmaking in the small countryside village of Steventon, until a ball at Godmersham Park propels her into a new world where she yearns for a romance of her own. But whether her heart will settle on a young lawyer, a clever Reverend, a wealthy childhood friend, or a mysterious stranger is anyone’s guess.

Written in the style of Jane herself, this novel ponders the question faced by many devoted readers over…

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Out Today! Fifth Anniversary Edition of A Jane Austen Daydream! Grab Your Copy!

Today I am excited to announce that Madison Street Publishing has just released a fifth anniversary edition of A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM!

With a cool new cover, this addition of A Jane Austen Daydream includes a brand new introduction by Jane Austen expert Lisa Galek from AustenProse.

For those that do not know about this novel, here is how it is described on the back of the new edition:

All her heroines find love in the end–but is there love waiting for Jane?

Jane Austen spends her days writing and matchmaking in the small countryside village of Steventon, until a ball at Godmersham Park propels her into a new world where she yearns for a romance of her own. But whether her heart will settle on a young lawyer, a clever Reverend, a wealthy childhood friend, or a mysterious stranger is anyone’s guess.

Written in the style of Jane herself, this novel ponders the question faced by many devoted readers over the years–did she ever find love? Weaving fact with fiction, it re-imagines her life, using her own stories to fill in the gaps left by history and showing that all of us–to a greater or lesser degree–are head over heels for Jane.

Now for my readers who are not into Jane Austen let me say that this is NOT your typical Austen story. This book, while romantic, is also witty and experimental. I don’t want to ruin any of the surprises here but it is very different from other books you will read in any genre.

You can find this new addition as a paperback, e-book, and an (amazing) audiobook on Amazon right now. Check it out here – http://a.co/g7Q9aWr

And please, if you enjoy this book share and tell your friends. I would love for more readers to find my daydream.

Thanks for reading!

Disneyland’s Silent Gift

I just returned from a trip with the family to Disneyland. It was a good trip (besides the crazy size of the crowds this year), and it made me think of this post I wrote a few years ago. Yes, I did take a few morning walks around. Enjoy!

The Musings & Artful Blunders of Scott D. Southard

ResortThere is this time when you are staying at the Disneyland Resort Hotel when you can have it all to yourself.

It’s quiet, with the faint hint of music playing in the hotel lobbies in the background. I first discovered it when I offered to grab my wife one early morning a coffee at the shop in the hotel. But the moment I exited the elevator (and the haunting overture from The Jungle Book was playing in the speakers), that I realized I had discovered something unique.

It was still dark outside and I was alone.

I walked along the pool, passed the Tangaroa Terrace restaurant (with its fireplace still ablaze). There is a smell to Disneyland that I have yet to put my finger on, but the blossoms around the hotel and the restaurant added to its intoxication.

It was so peaceful that I almost felt a tinge of…

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