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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • January 24, 2013

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, January 2013

    It's freaking coldI blame my book.

    I haven’t done a post like this since October (October!), and really the only big change I can point to, besides my new obsession with Doctor Who (see number 2, below), is Permanent Spring Showers.

    But now the online challenge/novel is completed and the poetic/prose epilogue goes up on Friday, so I’ve no excuses. I have got to take this on again, give my monthly insight into my brain, or at least my daily life.

    One of the things I have always aimed for in these posts (and most posts) is honesty. Don’t laugh! Seriously, for a fiction author that is hard to do. Do you know how easy it would be for me to create a character of me? My wife points it out to me all the time when my little “exaggerations” enter a real life story. Usually we are at gathering with friends and I start to talk about something that happened (usually around my kids who are a lot more entertaining that I am), and she will do this thing with her eyes and after a few minutes, she will finally have to interrupt, explaining that what I said was not exactly true.

    Well, it was true in a way, right? Okay, nevermind, here are my five things for this month: (more…)

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  • January 14, 2013

    Pete the Cat is the Only Cat I Like

    My Favorite in the seriesI have always been allergic to cats, which means my relationship to them has been one of avoidance for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, most cats do not know our little “arrangement,” and seem to seek me out, enjoying the little sufferings that they cause me as I sniffle and cough at their mere presence.

    Each time this occurs, the cat owner will laugh and tell me how cats always seek out the one with allergies, the one showing them the least interest. They always seem amused by this idea; me, I have always have seen it as something more sinister. Yes, I might giggle out loud but inside I am preparing for the possibility of feline confrontation.

    Okay, let me clarify, I don’t think cats want my downfall, nothing like that; I simply think cats know they have some power over me and relish in it.

    Finally, able to put a human in its place—that has to be the thought—as they rub against my legs, crawl up on my lap, or rub against my arm. Leaving their fur everywhere they can, knowing that I will have to wash everything when I get home.

    Little bits and pieces of torture with fur. (more…)

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  • December 17, 2012

    The Christmas Accordion: Holiday 2012 Thoughts

    I have three memories around my second grade teacher, Mr. Nyenhuis.

    The first involved the time he dumped Dan Wheeler’s desk on the ground, showing what an absolute mess it was. Seriously, there was a smell coming from it that we all had to find out about. It couldn’t be natural.

    The second memory was around my broken wrist. It was my first (and only) broken anything and I had to get up in front of the class and tell everyone about it. I remember the feeling of all of my fellow classmates’ eyes on me and their excitement as I got closer and closer to the moment I fell off the bars on a backyard play set (I remember doing an incredibly inaccurate “crunch!” noise). To this day, I point to that moment as one of the defining ones that turned me towards storytelling.

    The last memory involved Mr. Nyenhuis, the holidays, and Christmas.

    –

    See, for every year I was in elementary school, on the last week of school before Christmas, we had a tradition at Parkview Elementary. All of the kids were led out to the hallway for a daily sing-along. (more…)

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  • November 26, 2012

    The New Kid in the Audience: A Holiday Confessional

    Hi, my name is Scott and I’m a Christmas-aholic. It has been two hours since I last listened to Nat King Cole sing “The Christmas Song.”

    –

    I love this season.

    I always have.

    I look forward to putting up the tree and buying presents (many times I have been known to do this in September and October… the presents, not the tree).

    –

    I love the stories that come up each year.  A Christmas Carol is in my opinion one of the few perfect works in literature (Right up there with Pride and Prejudice). (more…)

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  • November 19, 2012

    Nine Thoughts on Turning Five

    My wife was in labor for 22 hours. 22!

    It started the night before and I was deep in sleep when she broke the news we needed to leave for the hospital NOW. I was so deep into it that it took almost a minute of her waving at me, as I stood dumbfounded, that we needed to move.

    I drove so slowly to the hospital, my wife was getting frustrated. I wanted everyone to be safe, I even avoided the highway, worried about drunk drivers.… Yes, it was a Sunday night, but someone could be drunk on a Sunday, right?

    Once we were there my wife’s suffering began as future parents after future parents went in the delivery room before us. Finally, I had had enough. There are only a few times I can remember that I got all “extreme,” but this was one of them, as I confronted the doctor and nurse in the hallway. They said there were two ahead and I corrected them, without blinking, no, my wife is next… After five minutes of arguing, my wife was being prepped and ready to go.

    One of my most vivid memories is of my son’s birth. When we first heard his cry, my wife turned to me, her mouth open in surprise, tears streaking her happy and tired face.  Then they showed him to us. His face was bright red from the screaming. I asked politely (and very overwhelmed) if I could see him; they of course said yes. I stood over him consoling him. At the sound of my voice he immediately stopped crying and then rolled on his side towards me.

    You don’t forget things like that… (more…)

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  • November 14, 2012

    Mush: The Effects of Parenting on the Artistic Mind

    My brain has turned to mush.

    I can’t say exactly when it happened, but somewhere between the long sleepless nights with a newborn and the obsessions of a toddler (who is convinced he is a racecar, and tells everyone. I don’t even understand how Nascar is a sport!), this fine-tuned tool I have always been so fond of has become permanently muddled.

    To know me before my son was to know a devout follower of classic literature. I could discuss the finer points of Finnegan’s Wake and Middlemarch and not drop a bead of sweat. I was a snobby individual, and proud of my snobbiness, wearing it as almost a badge. But now, I spend my days thinking:

    • Where did Piglet disappear to during the entire Piglet’s Big Movie?
    • Why does Elmo tell kids the best place to learn more is to watch a TV channel in every episode of Elmo’s Room? Does anyone else have a problem with that?
    • And where can I get my own Tootles like Mickey Mouse has, because it seems like a really useful invention? (more…)

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  • November 5, 2012

    My Reasons… Election 2012

    I have only written two political posts on this site. Here are the links to both of them:

    • If the election is a story…
    • I Love PBS

    Whenever I go to vote I always think first about what kind of a world I want to create for my children. So when I vote tomorrow for President Obama it is going to be about more than one issue. I’m voting for him because of the environment, good education (for all), women’s rights, civil rights, gay rights, social security, health care, and, yes even the economy (for all, not just those on top). Yet, to be honest, I have no idea how Governor Romney will govern. I bet you I could find two conflicting statements by him on any subject; YouTube is a wonder for that. The only thing we really have to point to about his true beliefs is his choice of Rep. Ryan as his running mate. And the idea of being 80 someday and having to find my own insurance via a voucher system terrifies me.

    So there you go… there are my reasons for voting for President Obama summed up in only a few sentences. New post on Wednesday and I promise there will be no politics included in it.

    Oh, yeah, and save Big Bird!

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  • October 31, 2012

    “Halloween, In Spirit” reblogged

    I thought I would reblog the post for the big day. One thing I never realized about becoming a parent is how much more work this day is for us as compared to the kids. Two school parades and parties, trick-or-treating (which tonight will be in the rain and possible snow), and handing out the candy… And when we want a piece, what do the kids call it? Stealing. Yeah, unfair. Boo!

    Scott D. Southard's avatarThe Stories of Scott D. Southard

    I don’t believe in magic.

    I also don’t believe in witches, ghosts, wizards, dragons, unicorns, demons, devils, poltergeists, vampires, werewolves and anything else that might go bump in the night.

    And, for those curious, I don’t believe in angels either.

    None of these things exist (or could exist) in the world I see around me every day. And if any of these things really were real, there is no way it would be a secret to all of us. If there is one great truth about human beings, from the North Pole to the South, it is that we are all lousy at keeping a secret. Remember, even Deep Throat said who he was before he died, and that was a secret kept by only three people!

    Frankly, we would all know about Hogwarts.

    –

    I wish I could see a ghost.

    Why?

    Because I would find the experience incredibly…

    View original post 1,404 more words

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  • October 29, 2012

    My Remaining Years and the Birthday of Doom

    I have always hated birthdays and I think part of the problem is I have always put too much pressuring on meeting difficult milestones.

    I blame myself, but I also blame great writers for this. See, I have always put a lot on what others have done by my age and the older I get (and more great writers die off with each year I pass. I mean, come on! I’m almost a few years off from when Jane Austen snuffed it), the more this is getting difficult to do. Many of the greats have already hit their classic by this point. Me? I’m still struggling to get people to find my writing (and thank you for reading).

    Looking back over my website this year it seems aging is a big theme for me. Maybe part of this is related to the fact I lost my grandfather at the beginning of the year. He was the last of my grandparents and with him an entire generation of my family disappeared. Yet, to be honest, I have written about aging before then. One of the first things I wrote for Green Spot Blue was a piece about being older than Indiana Jones in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

    Yes, being older than Indy is a big deal for members of my generation. If you don’t understand what I mean, I can’t help you. (You can read that piece here.) I’m approaching Last Crusade now… after that there is a long draught until the flying fridge and the crystal skulls.

    Before this becomes some kind of a great pity party for me, let me add here that I am very happy in my reality. My wife and I have created a wonderful life together and our kids are amazing. I know it’s almost corny to say one’s kids are their greatest achievement but… Okay… my kids are my greatest achievement. (more…)

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  • October 9, 2012

    Halloween, In Spirit

    I don’t believe in magic.

    I also don’t believe in witches, ghosts, wizards, dragons, unicorns, demons, devils, poltergeists, vampires, werewolves and anything else that might go bump in the night.

    And, for those curious, I don’t believe in angels either.

    None of these things exist (or could exist) in the world I see around me every day. And if any of these things really were real, there is no way it would be a secret to all of us. If there is one great truth about human beings, from the North Pole to the South, it is that we are all lousy at keeping a secret. Remember, even Deep Throat said who he was before he died, and that was a secret kept by only three people!

    Frankly, we would all know about Hogwarts.

    –

    I wish I could see a ghost.

    Why?

    Because I would find the experience incredibly satisfying. (more…)

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