The Stories of Scott D. Southard

September 7, 2012

“Starting School” post is up on Green Spot Blue (a quick update with the link as well)
My article on my son starting school and my reaction to him growing up is being shared as well on the parenting/literary Web site Green Spot Blue. You can check it out here.

Please take the time and check it out. Green Spot Blue is really a great site and has a lot to offer for hip and educated parents to read and enjoy. I’m really honored that they ask me to contribute to it from time to time.

As a quick follow-up my son did great that first day, honestly, much better than me. He found his seat and started coloring right away. And while other parents and children were dealing with all of their own unique levels of drama (there actually was a line for the teaching assistant to give each child a hug that needed it after the departure of their parents), he just colored away.

I could have left, but I didn’t right away. The gravity of this moment being strangely hard for me to let go of. Finally, when I realized I was one of the last, felt it was finally time. I gave him a hug, kissed the top of his head and told him how proud I was… and I am.
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September 3, 2012

Starting School
“Can you believe our firstborn is starting school?” My wife asked me this question a few days ago, her eyes going wide as she said it, and it ridiculously enough took me completely by surprise.

My son is about to start Begindergarten, which is a cute way of saying an “Early Fives” class. He is going to attend it in an elementary and he will be there all day just like all of the bigger kids, using their same cafeteria and their playground (not at the same time, of course). My wife and I were so focused on getting him into the right school in our area for the last eight months that I didn’t realize until recently how much this change meant for all of us in our little family and for him.

This was about to be something new…

In preparation of this first day over the weekend we drove him to his new school and allowed him to play in the playground for about an hour. While he loved playing in the playground (trying everything he could), I kept noticing things, my parental eye kicking in.
- Who was it that left these empty beer cans here on the playset? Will these people who would drink at a kids’ playground be around the school? Heaven forbid, or will they actually be attending?
- Why are there so many weeds?
- And are those soccer nets going to be fixed?
- Is that rust?
Yes, while this playground is better than anything I had growing up (and this is a great school district), I still was catching everything I possibly could. This could be a super power of mine. A lame super power, but still a power. You can call me “Protective Dad.” And I am here to shake my head and wag my finger at others! Irresponsible people of the world be warned! Protective Dad is among you now! (more…)
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August 21, 2012

My Solo Dad Tricks
I’m on solo dad time for the next few days.

This is not a big deal really, I keep an eye on my two little kids without the wife around all the time, but I do admit my son has been known to call the evenings when it is just the three of us (and the mom is away) “silly nights.”

Yup, silly nights.

That is the dad I am in many ways. You could call me the “prop comic” of fathers, always coming up with new games and new ways to play with toys. I think I average about two to three a day, but don’t expect me to remember any. I usually forget them the minute after we have moved on to the next activity.

I’m not the kind of parent who feels comfortable with the television and movies for helping pass the time. I don’t want that crutch. I want the parental interaction, but after eight hours I can get… well, silly.

Pesonally, I don’t know how teachers and at-home parents do it. I would go a little stir crazy if I couldn’t find things to challenge myself mentally with during the day. I love being a dad, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about my super kids; this is all about me and it is true in most things I do. I always need my mind to be working to be happy. Anyway, I have three fallbacks I pull out if I need to keep my mind in the game. (more…)
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August 20, 2012

My Wife Hates Steely Dan
So often when you speak to married couples you hear of the sacrifices that they have given for the sake of the marriage. Bad habits disappear, strange heirlooms from the past go into storage.

Luckily, for me my wife really married me for who I was and didn’t expect me to change…

Oh wait…

She did want one thing.

My wife hates the music of Steely Dan.

“Reelin’ in the Years”

I grew up on the music of Steely Dan. My dad loves this band, I can’t remember a time really when Countdown to Ecstasy or Pretzel Logic wasn’t playing while he was working in the lawn or around the house.

Over a decade ago I actually got him tickets to see the band live. And when he injured his leg, I gave him copies of their entire discography to help pass the time. They have always been a go-to possibility around my dad and presents… Other than Steely Dan and the work of Kurt Vonnegut, he is difficult to shop for, to be honest. (more…)
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August 6, 2012

Living With Giants: Growing Up and Older With They Might Be Giants
I’m a proud card carrying member of the lifetime fans of They Might Be Giants.

I own all of the albums, each collection, a box filled with B-sides, concert albums, and too many shirts to count spanning the last two-and-a-half decades. I even once bought a shirt of theirs to save! See, my dream was that one of the characters in a screenplay I had written would wear that shirt in one scene. So even though I didn’t have a producer, studio, director or even an actor for it, I wanted to have the shirt just in case.

I’ve seen They Might Be Giants five times in concert, and the best way I have found to describe the experience is to compare it to what (I assume) it is like to attend a meeting of the masons. You are with others that believe the same as you, know the same rites, know the same words, and instead of wearing creepy pinky rings we wear shirts with obscure references that no one but us really know…. And whenever I have met someone who already knows their albums, we immediately bond, our humor and artistic likes immediately snapping into alignment.

I was indoctrinated into the club of John Flansburgh and John Linnell (The geniuses behind They Might Be Giants) via a B-side of a single for Flood. I was in high school, and had to rely on one of my friends to get back and forth to school. And as we would drive each day, with our saxophones bumping against each other in the backseat, my esteemed driver would keep throwing in the same tape that had nothing more than four songs on it. (more…)
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July 16, 2012

The Playhouse Rationalization: Introducing My 4-Year Old to Pee-Wee Herman
“What is that?!”

I knew that accusatory tone too well. My 4-year old usually pulls it out of his arsenal when he catches me doing something secret in front of him, like taking bites of a cookie I have no desire to share with him (that weird conundrum parents get in when they want to set a good example, but, damn it, they also want a cookie).

This time the tone was related to something I was watching on Facebook. Jimmy Fallon had Pee-Wee Herman dub his voice into a The Dark Knight Rises trailer (You can see it here) and it was awesome.

I was having a hard time holding back my laugh, but watching that trailer was kind of off limits for the boy. While my son loves Batman, Christopher Nolan’s films are definitely out of his age bracket; hey, sometimes they feel out of my age bracket (I had a hard time getting near pencils for a week after seeing The Dark Knight). (more…)
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July 12, 2012

Dear Wild Kratts, You Guys Are Awesome
PBS Kids has always been a good idea in theory. It’s the follow through where things get a bit muddled.

Each of the shows seem to have their own agendas (besides the obvious of keeping the production company working), and many times I wonder if they do involve educating my children. Even Sesame Street has problems with its obsession around showcasing celebrities (that, let’s be honest, children don’t care about) and in the end only seems to teach kids the importance of pop culture. Wonderful. Thanks.

And who knows what Arthur teaches except how not to get along with your sister.

I’ve written about my issues with the shows before (I wrote about Thomas the tank Engine and Sesame Street for a parenting site), so I really don’t need to continue my rant here. There is just so much ranting you can do about kid shows until you come off sounding a bit, well… odd; even to your understanding family.

I don’t want to be that guy. No one wants to be that guy.

Which brings me to what I consider one of the highlights of the PBS Kids lineup, the stellar Wild Kratts.

Why do I like this show above all of the other ones on TV today? Simply, my four-year old son learns from the show and that is just wonderfully awesome. (more…)
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July 6, 2012

Film Review: The Amazing Spider-Man
I have a new film review up on Green Spot Blue. It is a review of The Amazing Spider-Man. Here is a snippet from the beginning:

For years, Peter Parker has not been able to catch a break.

I’m not talking about with the villains like Doctor Octopus or the Green Goblin, or with the girls, like Gwen and Mary Jane; no, I am talking about his issues with pop culture.

From questionable musicals to badly-written TV shows (Ultimate Spider-Man, which does not live up to its title at all) to lackluster movies, Peter Parker has had to endure it all. And he has, not losing an inch of his popularity along the way. That is a feat for any creation, even a superhero.

Growing up I was always more of a DC Comics fan, always feeling like there was “too much” going on around the Marvel universe I had to catch up on (I found the first time I picked up an X-Men to be exhausting, for example). However, I am now a dad of a superhero-obsessed, four-year old and his favorite is Spider-Man, which means I have to answer a lot of questions about this friendly neighborhood webslinger I never had to before. I am becoming more and more an encyclopedia of knowledge around him. Feel free to test me.

You can read the rest of the review (where I compare the film to the previous trilogy and dive more into my opinion on it) here. I hope you like it.
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June 28, 2012

Life’s After Thoughts
I don’t believe in ghosts.

I can say, for example, that someone died in my bedroom (It is an old house) and I have yet to see any specter on a dark moonlit evening. No screeching screams demanding I leave the premises; nor have I felt even the slightest presence in the room. For my children, it is the refuge they go to after a bad dream or to seek comfort. There is nothing there to scare them away.

One of my favorite stories about the “unknown” comes from my little brother when he was a kid. He and one of my young cousins got their hands on an Ouija board and decided to talk to demons. He came running up to me later declaring that they had spoken to Satan!

I, being the arrogant teenager I was at the time, said something like, “Oh yeah? How did he spell his name?”

My brother proudly replied, “S.A.T.I.N.”

The Reason

My grandfather, my last grandparent, passed away earlier this year (I wrote about writing his obituary here). To say my grandparents had an impact on my life is to put it mildly. Next to my parents, they were one of the most important influences on my life. They were my safety net and they caught me numerous times while growing up. (more…)
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May 31, 2012

Which Beatle am I? I have no idea anymore
I have always identified myself with The Beatles. There was something about their energy, their creativity, and their artistic exploration that called to me.

I know this is not a unique thing.

Almost everyone feels some kind of connection to the fab four, but for me, I would mark my time based on theirs or I would relate myself to at least one of them from time to time, thinking something like “Wow that is just like John,” even though I knew it was never really the case… but it just made everything feel a little more important.

When I was a young struggling writer, I saw myself as a young John Lennon. I wore a sailor cap like he did all the time and wrote comic short stories. Yes, I connected to this early John in a major way. I even dressed as him for Halloween once with the sailor cap just so over my bangs… strangely (thanks probably to my blonde hair) most thought I was the Dutch Boy from the paint cans as compared to the young rock god. (more…)
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