Trapped in Spam: My Days in a Post-Monty Python World

My heroes…As I write this I am wearing a t-shirt from TeeFury that has the black knight from Monty Python and the Holy Grail fighting Darth Vader. (I believe we can all guess how such an mind-blowing awesome encounter would end.)

…Also, as I write this my ringtone on my phone is the King Arthur theme from Holy Grail. So a call not only makes me run to the phone but also consider grabbing one or two coconuts (without African swallows to hold them up).

When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. That sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that’s what you’re going to get, Lad, the strongest castle in all of England.

…I own every episode of the series (including the German episodes), a bunch of documentaries, the movies (of course), the live show, CDs, and a pile of books on the history. To be able to talk to me for more than an hour it is almost required that you have a smattering of Monty Python in your vocabulary to draw from because, oh yes, I quote them all the time. More than Shakespeare (and that is a lot, usually with a poor British accent), more than song lyrics, more than anything. They are lodged permanently in my brain, and most times when I think of them they are in drag (maybe I should see a doctor). Continue reading

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Episode Five: Time Out Of Mind

Episode 5 of

Time Out Of Mind,

the sequel to

The Dante Experience

“A Night at the Theater”

OPENING CREDITS

Scene 1

SOUND: Of Heaven.

MICHAEL: Hello, your holiness, I have returned. I’m sorry about all that and my date. I’m so red. I mean, if angels could blush I would be red, not red like a devil or anything. Red just doesn’t work for me. Tried dressing up as a devil once for Halloween. I had this little tail and pitchfork and I was poking people with it and you probably don’t want to hear about that. Anyway, I brought some paradise cleaner that should help the mess and… Ok, I’ll just put it here.

SOUND: Putting cleaning supplies down.

MICHAEL: Ok, let me boot up my computer and the surveillance equipment and the video players and see what I have missed. Let’s see… Well, at least some good news since we know that one of the dragons is in Camelot. Of course, you can’t help but wonder what the other dragons have gone and what they are planning and… Do you wonder things like that? I mean… Nevermind. So the group is in the right spot. The group, now including Benjamin Franklin, are in the court of King Arthur. Our team of General Joseph, Jenkins and Dante are… Hmmm… Oh, here they are.

SOUND: Computer Beep.

MICHAEL: They have escaped France after having their heads chopped off and have been transported by the Angel Transportation League to a small village near Camelot. Continue reading