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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • January 14, 2013

    Pete the Cat is the Only Cat I Like

    My Favorite in the seriesI have always been allergic to cats, which means my relationship to them has been one of avoidance for as long as I can remember. Unfortunately, most cats do not know our little “arrangement,” and seem to seek me out, enjoying the little sufferings that they cause me as I sniffle and cough at their mere presence.

    Each time this occurs, the cat owner will laugh and tell me how cats always seek out the one with allergies, the one showing them the least interest. They always seem amused by this idea; me, I have always have seen it as something more sinister. Yes, I might giggle out loud but inside I am preparing for the possibility of feline confrontation.

    Okay, let me clarify, I don’t think cats want my downfall, nothing like that; I simply think cats know they have some power over me and relish in it.

    Finally, able to put a human in its place—that has to be the thought—as they rub against my legs, crawl up on my lap, or rub against my arm. Leaving their fur everywhere they can, knowing that I will have to wash everything when I get home.

    Little bits and pieces of torture with fur. (more…)

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  • December 3, 2012

    My Five Favorite Posts, 2012

    Father TimeI know we are not at the end of the year yet but I couldn’t wait. Yes, I am the kid on Christmas Eve wanting to open all of the presents early. And. let’s be honest, every blogger or writing site is going to be a doing a post like this. Why not be ahead of the curve?

    So that’s me- Mr. Ahead of the Curve.

    Before I get to my favorite posts, let me begin by saying how much I got a kick out of running this site this year. As a writer it has been very satisfying. Over the course of one year, I went from zero followers to 213 with over 25000 views this year alone. That is pretty awesome in my book, and just as satisfying this blog gave something back to me as a writer.

    • I was able to share fiction; things I have cared about that have been collecting dust around my house (and in my brain). The Dante Experience radio series is once again available to listen to, along with the unproduced scripts of the sequel.
    • A new collection of short stories, Upon The Ground, was shared on Green Spot Blue.
    • And I am writing a new book, Permanent Spring Showers, right here live for all to follow along… and many do!

    A lot of what drives me and this site right now are you the readers. I know people say things like that all the time, but I am being very honest. You have no idea how powerful a like and a comment can be in spurring me forward, inspiring me. I might have abandoned this months ago if it wasn’t for the numbers and the responses. So this year, I am the most thankful for you the readers.

    Thank you.

    Here is my list of my favorite posts in no certain order… (more…)

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  • November 14, 2012

    Mush: The Effects of Parenting on the Artistic Mind

    My brain has turned to mush.

    I can’t say exactly when it happened, but somewhere between the long sleepless nights with a newborn and the obsessions of a toddler (who is convinced he is a racecar, and tells everyone. I don’t even understand how Nascar is a sport!), this fine-tuned tool I have always been so fond of has become permanently muddled.

    To know me before my son was to know a devout follower of classic literature. I could discuss the finer points of Finnegan’s Wake and Middlemarch and not drop a bead of sweat. I was a snobby individual, and proud of my snobbiness, wearing it as almost a badge. But now, I spend my days thinking:

    • Where did Piglet disappear to during the entire Piglet’s Big Movie?
    • Why does Elmo tell kids the best place to learn more is to watch a TV channel in every episode of Elmo’s Room? Does anyone else have a problem with that?
    • And where can I get my own Tootles like Mickey Mouse has, because it seems like a really useful invention? (more…)

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  • September 7, 2012

    “Starting School” post is up on Green Spot Blue (a quick update with the link as well)

    My article on my son starting school and my reaction to him growing up is being shared as well on the parenting/literary Web site Green Spot Blue. You can check it out here.

    Please take the time and check it out. Green Spot Blue is really a great site and has a lot to offer for hip and educated parents to read and enjoy. I’m really honored that they ask me to contribute to it from time to time.

    As a quick follow-up my son did great that first day, honestly, much better than me. He found his seat and started coloring right away. And while other parents and children were dealing with all of their own unique levels of drama (there actually was a line for the teaching assistant to give each child a hug that needed it after the departure of their parents), he just colored away.

    I could have left, but I didn’t right away. The gravity of this moment being strangely hard for me to let go of. Finally, when I realized I was one of the last, felt it was finally time. I gave him a hug, kissed the top of his head and told him how proud I was… and I am.

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  • September 3, 2012

    Starting School

    “Can you believe our firstborn is starting school?” My wife asked me this question a few days ago, her eyes going wide as she said it, and it ridiculously enough took me completely by surprise.

    My son is about to start Begindergarten, which is a cute way of saying an “Early Fives” class. He is going to attend it in an elementary and he will be there all day just like all of the bigger kids, using their same cafeteria and their playground (not at the same time, of course). My wife and I were so focused on getting him into the right school in our area for the last eight months that I didn’t realize until recently how much this change meant for all of us in our little family and for him.

    This was about to be something new…

    In preparation of this first day over the weekend we drove him to his new school and allowed him to play in the playground for about an hour. While he loved playing in the playground (trying everything he could), I kept noticing things, my parental eye kicking in.

    • Who was it that left these empty beer cans here on the playset? Will these people who would drink at a kids’ playground be around the school? Heaven forbid, or will they actually be attending?
    • Why are there so many weeds?
    • And are those soccer nets going to be fixed?
    • Is that rust?

    Yes, while this playground is better than anything I had growing up (and this is a great school district), I still was catching everything I possibly could. This could be a super power of mine. A lame super power, but still a power. You can call me “Protective Dad.” And I am here to shake my head and wag my finger at others! Irresponsible people of the world be warned! Protective Dad is among you now! (more…)

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  • August 21, 2012

    My Solo Dad Tricks

    I’m on solo dad time for the next few days.

    This is not a big deal really, I keep an eye on my two little kids without the wife around all the time, but I do admit my son has been known to call the evenings when it is just the three of us (and the mom is away) “silly nights.”

    Yup, silly nights.

    That is the dad I am in many ways. You could call me the “prop comic” of fathers, always coming up with new games and new ways to play with toys. I think I average about two to three a day, but don’t expect me to remember any. I usually forget them the minute after we have moved on to the next activity.

    I’m not the kind of parent who feels comfortable with the television and movies for helping pass the time. I don’t want that crutch. I want the parental interaction, but after eight hours I can get… well, silly.

    Pesonally, I don’t know how teachers and at-home parents do it. I would go a little stir crazy if I couldn’t find things to challenge myself mentally with during the day. I love being a dad, don’t get me wrong, this isn’t about my super kids; this is all about me and it is true in most things I do. I always need my mind to be working to be happy. Anyway, I have three fallbacks I pull out if I need to keep my mind in the game. (more…)

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  • June 25, 2012

    Discussing Brave

    This discussion/review is filled with spoilers so if you have not seen Brave… Well, go see it, it is great.

    I’m not sure whether to compliment the marketing division at Disney or scold them, but Brave is not the movie they were selling to us. Oh, it is a good film, and I really enjoyed the trip, but it’s not the film I felt like we were seeing in the ads.

    Yes, there is magic, there is the princess with the bow, there is some adventure in the end, but it is not on a grand magical stage. If anything the film seems smaller than all that, and even seems to decrease in size over the picture, since we keep returning to locations we have seen before, again and again.

    Yes, in many ways, Brave is a small  and personal film, with only a small cast dealing with an issue that doesn’t affect the entire world but only one country in a minor political way. Kingdoms are not going to fall because of this story. Princess Merida is not fighting to save the world with all of the odds against her; no she is only trying to save one person, her mom. (more…)

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  • May 31, 2012

    Which Beatle am I? I have no idea anymore

    I have always identified myself with The Beatles.  There was something about their energy, their creativity, and their artistic exploration that called to me.

    I know this is not a unique thing.

    Almost everyone feels some kind of connection to the fab four, but for me, I would mark my time based on theirs or I would relate myself to at least one of them from time to time, thinking something like “Wow that is just like John,” even though I knew it was never really the case… but it just made everything feel a little more important.

    When I was a young struggling writer, I saw myself as a young John Lennon. I wore a sailor cap like he did all the time and wrote comic short stories. Yes, I connected to this early John in a major way.   I even dressed as him for Halloween once with the sailor cap just so over my bangs… strangely (thanks probably to my blonde hair) most thought I was the Dutch Boy from the paint cans as compared to the young rock god. (more…)

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  • April 26, 2012

    Pixar: the Film Studio I Would Sell My Soul to Write For

    Being a parent of young children has made me an expert in a few different, new, and exciting fields.

    You need to talk about superheroes, I am your man. If you want to discuss which lullaby CDs are best, and more importantly, work, talk to me.  Which TV shows for kids might actually educate your child, I’m an e-mail away. Also, if you want to know about Pixar, I have an altar for them in my house.

    Well, maybe not a real altar, but it does feel that way sometimes. Of course, can you truly use the word altar to describe a state that seems to have taken over your whole house? From the toys on the ground to the boy dressed like Dash from The Incredibles.

    In my house, simply put, we live Pixar films.

    Heck, when I discovered I was going to be having a daughter, her first present from me was a talking Jessie doll. Looking back, I think I honestly made the purchase immediately after calling my family members.

    Yet, my own personal love for Pixar goes beyond just the joy they give to my children. As a student of film and a writer, I respect them more than most filmmakers working today. I have yet to be disappointed by a Pixar film; and their weakest film is still far and away better than most exhaled from other studios for our children to consume (Alvin and the Chipmunks, how about The Smurfs, Shrek, etc.; I feel dirty just referencing these films in an editorial about the genius that is Pixar).

    Here are three reasons why I am a fan, and would, quite honestly, sell my soul to work with them as a writer: (more…)

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  • April 9, 2012

    A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to My Vasectomy

    This was my end of the bargain.

    My wife would have our two lovely children and when she was done I would go to the guillotine, as it were. I would be Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities, with both hands tied behind my back being led to my destiny while reciting, “It is a far, far better thing I do…”

    That sounds strangely noble in theory, but in actuality, I must admit, with the birth of our second child I had been avoiding this doctor trip like the plague. I had postponed the visit two different times (scheduling then rescheduling… twice), but after a year, I was running out of excuses for myself.

    On the day of the appointment, I was freaking out. I tried to explain this to my wife, but, as sympathetic as she tried to be, she didn’t get it. And comparing it to what she had to experience in the birthing of our children, didn’t help. Yes, I am sure birth is a bigger life changing, panic-driven, and painful experience. But for a guy, this is something. Yes, it means something, and it’s not something that can be easily explained, it’s in the gut, it’s in the animal part of the brain. It is part of what defines us as male. Hear us roar!

    I ended up making a quick excuse to run an errand, and then in a parking lot called one of my oldest friends to talk me down. I was the guy on the edge of the building preparing to jump, he was the understanding cop with the bullhorn explaining to me that I still will have a lot to live for.

    I was going to be fine… I was going to be fine… I stepped away from the ledge. (more…)

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