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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
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  • The Dante 3
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  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • May 21, 2014

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, May 2014

    IndyWhenever I have a sore throat I like to imagine that I sound like Harrison Ford. Not current-day Harrison, no, I’m talking classic Harrison. You know that moment in The Raiders of the Lost Ark when he looks right at the camera (Marion Ravenwood) and says “Trust me.”

    Right there! That is my sore throat voice!

    Of course, this is complete poppycock. I just sound like myself, but more nasally and rough.

    I always expect more of my voice. I assume it can sound smooth, I also assume I can sing. Both things proven wrong many, many times. Yet, there is a chance if you drive alongside me you might see me singing in my car. I actually got in an accident once driving and singing to They Might Be Giants. I kid you not! And, forever after that, you could hear the moment of the accident in the tape. It is like a hiccup. That tape hiccup was my life flashing before my eyes.

    Whatever the case, I have a little bit of a cold today. I’ll be fine, and I’ll spend the rest of my day happily imagining I have the world to save from Nazis.

    Here is my list of the five awesome things I am into right now. This is a great list. Trust me. (more…)

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  • February 28, 2014

    “Delightful” Two new 5-star reviews for A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM

    121610-brock-persuasionOver the last few days, two new 5-star reviews have appeared on amazon.com for A Jane Austen Daydream!  So very cool.

    Here is an excerpt from one of the reviews:

    Aptly titled, this entertaining tale is a true daydream or reverie and the author graces his pages with not one but THREE romances for Miss Austen to consider.

    The author brilliantly mashes up an authentic Jane Austen, many of her real family members, intermingles many of her own famous literary characters and tops it off with a generous helping of her most famous lines.

    We are treated to a Jane, who is bright, spirited, and enjoys poking her family, friends and acquaintances with her penetrating, yet lovable wit.

    You can read more reactions on amazon.com and GoodReads for my new novel. I hope you will check it out! A Jane Austen Daydream

    A Jane Austen Daydream can be purchased in print ($13.46) or as an eBook for the outrageously low price of $3.99 for Kindle. You can find it on Amazon here (http://amzn.com/B00CH3HQUU).

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  • January 15, 2014

    “To write or not to write.” Part two of my interview with Nancy Christie

    BooksPart two of my interview with blogger and author Nancy Christie is up on her site! (You can read part one here.) Check it out via this link!

    In this segment of the interview, I dive more into my life as a writer and a reader. For example in this question I am asked which three authors I would like to have a “one-on-one” with.

    The idea of meeting a hero has always been terrifying for me. For example, one of the authors I would put on the list would have been Kurt Vonnegut. But I had his home phone number for years on my desk! I am not kidding, for years. It was given to me by a friend. I just never had the courage to call him and now it is, of course, too late.

    I think someone needs to sit down with William Shakespeare and get the truth on the authorship question. That interview has to happen just so we can get the discussion behind us, good or bad.

    Growing up, I exchanged a few letters with Ray Bradbury. I would have loved to have spoken to him in person. He was very kind to me then.

    You can read the rest of the interview here. Thank you Nancy for this chance to speak to your readers!

    A Jane Austen DaydreamMy latest novel, A Jane Austen Daydream, can be purchased in print ($13.46) or as an eBook for the outrageously low price of $3.99 for Kindle. You can find it on Amazon here (http://amzn.com/B00CH3HQUU).

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  • November 12, 2013

    Working The Audience: A Very Useful Writing Trick

    On the StageI am a little bit of a helpless romantic.

    For those who read my novel A Jane Austen Daydream that is not at all surprising. And before I met my wife I thought of my writing as a gateway to the heart.

    I was one of those fools that bought into the lie of the romantic novels and the romantic comedy films. You see this plot twist all the time! That grand gesture that makes a person reconsider another in a different light. Oh, it is a great idea in a story, but we all know, honestly, it goes against how people are wired in the real world.

    Short stories with hidden messages (and not so hidden ones), books, and I still squirm to remember the poetry. I have admitted a lot of embarrassing stuff on this site, but this is one of those few memories I still want to crawl into a cave and live out my remaining days because of. Yup, just the hint of it makes me want to become a hermit.

    I, Scott Southard, was the creator of bad love poems. And I have sent them, strategically left them around, and even mailed them once anonymously in the hope that it would make another stop and see me as hotter (as some kind of light rock classic kicks on in the background like in a bad movie). In the end it never worked… and, by the way, the recipient of the anonymous love poems didn’t even figure out they were from me until I said something! Ouch!

    All those bad memories aside, there is something to be said for the importance of an audience. I’m not just talking about the readers all writers dream to have, I mean that more enigmatic dream of a reader. The one we hope will find our work, the one in the back of our mind that drives the creation forward. They demand the story. What many don’t realize is that dream reader can be a tool, and can help over many different steps in the creative process if used right. Just be sure to leave the poetry at home… (more…)

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  • October 22, 2013

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, October 2013

    HalloweenEvery year around this time I always wish I had musical talent. Why? Because Halloween is a surefire money opportunity for a creative songwriter.

    See, across this country, from kids to adults, people have Halloween parties, but there is no real Halloween music to play. Oh, there is “Thriller” by Michael Jackson and the awful “Monster Mash,” but what is there after that? Dance remixes of famous horror movie themes?… That’s not good enough!

    And that is when an enterprising music genius steps in.

    You make a CD that is family friendly, has some fun danceable tracks (maybe comes with its own dance move), add enough references to Halloween memories to stir a heartfelt response (think any classic Christmas song, most are built around memories) and you will be cashing a big check once a year for decades to come.

    Sadly, I don’t have music talent and the extent of my songwriting skills only brings up corny titles like “I Want My Mummy” and “Do the Frankenstein Shuffle.” That is just embarrassing. It is even more embarrassing because I am literary enough to know Frankenstein is the doctor not the monster.

    Sigh.

    Here are the five things I am into this month… (more…)

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  • October 7, 2013

    The Troll Under the Bridge: How to Write a Good Bad Book Review

    A TrollFor the last few months I have been happily on top of my bridge.

    My new book A Jane Austen Daydream had been out for a while, and to my relief it was getting great reviews, even from the Jane Austen Center and AustenProse (two reviews I was scared about). And on GoodReads I was averaging above 4.25 with a majority of my reviews being 5-stars. Happily, the responses there seemed to be between loving it and simply enjoying it. Yes, there were one or two that didn’t enjoy it, but that is fine. That’s life! Suffice to say, I had let my guard down and that is when trolls like to jump and grab you. And one finally did on Amazon:

    When will I learn not to trust a book’s 5-star ratings? If they aren’t written by Momma, then they’re paid for.

    If you prefer low-level reads (around  4th or 5th grade in reading difficulty), and poor writing, you might be able to  slog your way through this. For me, not even Jane Austen could force me to finish it.

    Glad I borrowed this and kept my money. Then again, Amazon makes it easy to return garbage books.

    After reading that review I was understandably angry, which was exactly what the troll wanted to have happen (kudos to him, he succeeded). I think what bothered me  the most is that it crossed a line by attacking the other 37 reviewers of my book (at the time of this writing), claiming that they were paid for and shouldn’t be taken seriously by readers. Of course, this is not true, and I have even written a post on this site (here) discussing my disgust with that practice.

    Whatever the case, I kind of feel sorry for the reviewer because, frankly, he doesn’t know how to write a bad book review and in the end the review makes him look worse than me or my book… he just doesn’t realize that yet. See, like most things in writing there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. Here are some things to remember when you have to create the dreaded bad book review.

    (more…)

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  • July 5, 2013

    “Genius or bonkers” Reviews and a sale (1.99) for Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare!

    Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare, CoverFor a limited time, the eBook of my experimental mystery/thriller novel Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare is on sale! You can find it on amazon (here) for only $1.99!

    So if you enjoyed my A Jane Austen Daydream recently and want to read more this holiday weekend or just want a new kind of book to read, why not check out this other new work?

    Reviews are starting to come in for this fun and odd little novel. For example on amazon.com one reader wrote in a 5-star review titled “Couldn’t put it down”:

    I really wasn’t sure what to expect since I’d never heard of Scott Southard, but  I loaded it onto my Kindle and headed out the door to drive to my son to his  orthodontist appointment. As you might imagine, normally I’d be excited  when my son was done and we could go eat lunch, but this time I was  disappointed. I was only about a third of the way through the book and  didn’t want to put it down… a real page turner.

    And there is this from a review on amazon.co.uk that begged the all-important question if the book is genius or bonkers:

    I started this book expecting a Sherlock Holmes style mystery with a bit more humour and got so much more than I bargained for!  Don’t be fooled by the first half of the book, it isn’t what you expect, and then it  isn’t what you expect again!  If you have read any Jasper Fforde,  imagine him writing whilst tripping on acid.

    You can find this surprising book on amazon.com here. (or on any Amazons on sale for that matter). If you want to learn more (or read an excerpt), please visit the page for the book on this site here.

    I hope you have a nice weekend!

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  • June 21, 2013

    “Twisted” A new 5-star review for my book Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare

    Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare, CoverMaximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare has been out for over a week, and reviews are starting to come in from readers. Today, I received this 5-star review on Amazon and Good Reads from Author Jodi Woody:

    My first taste of author Scott Southard was through his book “A Jane Austen Daydream”, which I loved, so I don’t know what I was really expecting from this book. Not at all like Jane Austen. This book proved to me the writing skill of Mr. Southard! I believe the man has quite the imagination, albeit a twisted one. Maximilian Standforth is a mystery in the likes of Sherlock Holmes, but with a case that, possibly, even he couldn’t solve. I thoroughly enjoyed the book and give it 5 stars.

    You can also read this review via her writing website here.

    Both of my new novels Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare and A Jane Austen Daydream can be found on Amazon in print and in eBook format for the same price of $3.99. You can find links to both via my author page on amazon here.

    I hope you enjoy my books as well!

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  • May 19, 2013

    “…a novel for authors and for readers.” Three new reader reviews for A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM

    A Jane Austen DaydreamA JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM has been out for a few weeks and reader reviews are starting to trickle in on different websites. The first two have appeared on GoodReads both giving the book five stars:

    “I loved this book…. There were times I forgot I was reading ABOUT a fictional Jane Austen rather than a book she herself had written.”

    “Great read!”

    And over on amazon, I was honestly very overwhelmed by the following new review:

    “I consider this novel one of the best not only in regency era literature, but also in mainstream fiction.”

    [From the review “Taught me why I love Austen and storytelling.”]

    A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM is available via amazon.com where you can find it for only $3.99 for eBook and just $9.85 in print. You can find it here: http://amzn.com/0983671923

    I hope you will check out my new book!

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  • May 18, 2013

    The Thin Muddy Line of Online Book Reviews: A Writer’s Thoughts

    GangstersA few days ago I was given an offer, much like in The Godfather, that I supposedly couldn’t refuse.

    At least that is how the offeror thought of it. See, there is a Facebook page I, from time to time, visit where writers will share links to their books and give updates on their writing. I do as well. Anyway, I had posted about my new book A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM, and underneath the book, the fair offer was given. It said, in so many words. “Hey, I’ll write a review on your book, if you write a review on my book.”

    Of course, what the offeror was forgetting in that comment, but was definitely implied, was “positive review.”

    If this was only a one-time occurrence of a back alley review deal, I would brush it off, move on, but the fact is I get about four to five offers like this a week. Sometimes they are through Facebook or Twitter, but many times they are over e-mail. Occasionally, the person offering the arrangement is playful in the asking, and some (like this guy in the comment) have no problem with anyone seeing the plan.

    Usually, I try to be very kind when someone places such an offer to me, I bring up how busy I am with my own writing right then (which, honestly, is very true and I have had to say no to friends handing me things to read as well), but it always makes me feel very uncomfortable, because at the heart of such an exchange there seems to be a certain level of trickery.

    Maybe trickery is too harsh a word, but you can’t escape the fact that reviews created in such an arrangement are put out there to convince a reader, someone who possibly doesn’t know better, to buy a book that might or might not deserve the rating it was just given. Leaving that future reader with the equivalent of a horse’s head in the bed when they wanted the full horse. (more…)

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