Merry Christmas to my now 1548 blog followers! And my attempt at the worst Christmas movie ever!

Seriously, the worst Christmas record cover ever. I don’t know why I always get shocked by bad holiday stories. I already complained this year about the cruel Mickey’s Once Upon a Christmas (here) but this weekend I found something even worse. Wow, this is bad.

I don’t know the title of it, but it involved talking puppies. Okay, talking animals I can get behind a little bit, but the family they are staying with have their house go into foreclosure. They sneak away, leaving the mommy dog and her puppies in the house. Then animal control shows up and takes the mommy dog away, leaving the puppies! But wait! We aren’t done. Then the house is broken into by a group of teenage hoodlums, who want to sell the puppies on the black puppy market…. Okay, it was then I stopped watching. (I expect better Netflix!)

So it got me thinking, can I come up with a worse Christmas movie idea? Can I?  Also, it turns out it has been a while since I have done something fun to thank my blog followers. The last time I did it was when I reached 1300 followers, but now I am at 1548. So… yeah… I am due for something silly.  (Oh, and thank you for following!)

So, to my wonderful followers and readers, I wish to proudly present my advertisement for the worst Christmas movie ever- 24 ‘Til Snow!

24 ‘Til Snow!

Dickie Wayne III (frat brother, smooth playboy and eternal mischief-maker) has just inherited his grandfather’s ski lodge. But there is no snow! And if there isn’t snow by Christmas all of the guests will cancel and he will be ruined before he can even start! What is there to do? Why have a wild Bikini Christmas party of course! But what will happen when that snooping sheriff and his talking deputy dog learn that Dickie doesn’t have a liquor license?

24 ‘Til Snow!

Oh no! Santa drank from Big Lug’s secret family recipe moonshine! How will the guys ever get him sober enough to deliver the rest of the presents before Christmas morning? Keep your clothes on Santa!

24 ‘Til Snow!

Trixie (Dickie’s younger sister) has sneaked into the party and wants to learn the true meaning of love. How can Dickie, the playboy to end all playboy, protect his sister from his frat brothers and teach her the truths about the heart?

24 ‘Til Snow!

Aliens!

24 ‘Til Snow!

In a very heartfelt moment with a poor family, Dickie and his guests learn the true meaning of Christmas… now back to partying!

24 ‘Til Snow!

It turns out that grandfather’s lodge has been a secret meeting spot for Russian spies since World War II. And the Russians have hidden their top-secret codes inside of the lining of Dickie’s grandfather’s fedora. The same one Dickie has been wearing all night! Can the rookie (and hot) FBI agent save Dickie’s life… without falling in love?

24 ‘Til Snow!

Fun for the whole family! (Rated R)

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Ho Ho Ho! To celebrate 1000 blog followers I wrote a Christmas song!

Linus and the treeThis weekend, we put up our Christmas tree. We called it our “retro-tree” and used color lights and gold garland. Very 70’s. While we were doing this important activity, we listened to a holiday music station via our AT&T Uverse account. And, yes, while all of the classics were there, there were also a lot of bad Christmas songs on it.

A lot, a lot of bad Christmas songs…

Christmas donkeys, Suzy Snowflake, Alvin and the Chipmunks… It almost made me wonder if the person who planned the setlist had a hidden agenda. An agenda of holiday pain and bitterness. What did Santa do to them?

The fact is there is a trick to writing a good Christmas song (which I can tell you if you want), yet we still get horrendous new holiday songs each year (I wrote this post last year on the worst one I ever heard). Most bad holiday songs are around love and heartbreak and done by struggling pop artists. So to celebrate the fact that I’ve now REACHED 1000 BLOG FOLLOWERS, I’ve decided to enter the financial holiday gravy train.

“A Stocking Full of You”

If Snowflakes are daydreams
My lawn is covered with a thousand wishes of you-
When I sit on Santa’s lap
All I asked for was you in a bow-

(Chorus) You make my sleigh bells jingle-
You light up Rudolph’s nose-
Jump in your sleigh and head over-
It’s almost Christmas day-

Jack Frost and Frosty
Can’t freeze my longing heart-
All the Christmas songs are in minor keys
When they forget your smile-

(Chorus)

(Bridge) Santa likes his cookies-
Reindeers like their hay-
This year I have only one wish on my list-
Have I been naughty?
Have I been naughty?
Oh!

(Chorus)

(Chorus)

End

I expect all of the country singers and boy bands to send their checks directly to me from here to eternity.

Thanks for following my blog!

Book Giveaway, Author Interview, Review and Hello to My 602 Blog Followers! A Friday Writing Roundup.

Typing dudeHi Everyone.

I love days like this! The sun is shining, the grass is green and my ego is the size of Manhattan for today I have reached 602 blog followers!

This is a big deal for me, my writing and this crazy author dream I’ve had since I was child. Thank you so much! I hope you continue to enjoy my writing!

This has also been a fun week for my new novel A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM, recently published by Madison Street Publishing (Out now and under ten dollars!).

  • Through May 12 there is a book giveaway going on at English Historical Authors. To enter you simply need to visit this link and enter a comment. One lucky person will win a print copy of my latest surprising novel.
  • This week I also had the opportunity to have a fun interview with the website Austen Hill. Kelly, who runs the site, also reviewed my book on Wednesday. A review that still makes me blush. You can read the interview here and the book review here.
  • A Jane Austen DaydreamA JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM is still being sold exclusively via amazon.com where you can find it in print now for ONLY $9.85 and as an eBook for just $3.99. I hope you will consider buying it via this link. (You can also learn more about the book, see reviews, and read an excerpt on the DAYDREAM page on this site here).

On a side note, I am currently locking down my book MAXIMILIAN STANDFORTH AND THE CASE OF THE DANGEROUS DARE (I gave an update on this book I am self-publishing here). Yesterday, I ordered a proof copy of the book which I should have next week. I can not wait to see it and, more importantly, share it with you.

I hope everyone has a nice weekend, is enjoying A JANE AUSTEN DAYDREAM, and continue to enjoy my little verbal adventures (posts).

Thank you so much for reading!