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The Stories of Scott D. Southard

  • In Jerry’s Corner
  • A Jane Austen Daydream
  • Permanent Spring Showers
  • Megan
  • Maximilian Standforth and the Case of the Dangerous Dare
  • The Dante 3
  • Me Stuff
  • Man Behind the Curtain
  • December 19, 2012

    Neil Diamond’s “A Cherry Cherry Christmas” is the Worst Christmas Song Ever! A Holiday Musical Rant.

    It Even he doesn't look happy with the result...takes a lot to write a worse song than “Christmas Shoes.”

    You could almost see a contest being created around the Herculean task. The title of the contest could relate to old, smelly sneakers or something.

    Yet, in 2009 Neil Diamond would have won the coveted holey shoe without any trouble at all with his “A Cherry Cherry Christmas.” (You see how I did that? Because we are talking about the holidays and I said “holey” instead of holy?… Oh, nevermind.)

    How did I escape this atrocity to the holidays for the last few years?

    It might be my first proof of Christmas angels. (And not the little ones who are all alone with no toys to play with except a shoebox… Wow, I hate that children’s book; most depressing vision of the afterlife ever.) See, I love the holiday season and one of my little embarrassing quirks is each year I give the local radio stations a chance to prove to me that there is still the possibility of good Christmas music being made. Usually, they don’t succeed…

    Actually, sadly, I can’t think of the last time they have convinced me that anyone should consider making a holiday CD at all again! (more…)

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  • October 15, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, October 2012

    One of my big complaints I had when I lived in Los Angeles was that you did not feel the changing of the seasons.

    See, for me the changes in the weather around me helps me stay focused, it gives me a sense of urgency from day to day. In other words, I feel time more and I can feel it slipping away as well. This is not a bad thing, it just means I feel like I live life a little more when I feel those differences as compared to when I live in an environment where everything is the same every freaking day.

    Of course, where can you go to complain about the weather?

    Fall is one of my favorite seasons and this October is living up to that with a lot of favorites falling in my list. (Oh, and the fact my novel A Jane Austen Daydream has been signed to be ePublished sometime in the future doesn’t hurt either). (more…)

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  • September 12, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, September 2012

    Autumn is around the corner, and in my neck of the woods the leaves are just starting to change colors and my son is already talking about his Halloween costume.

    He wants to be The Flash this year, but next year he wants to be Captain America with a shield which he threatens to throw around; so it’s good for everyone (especially the dog) he is The Flash this year. My daughter is Princess Leia, because I thought it would be cute and she is too young to argue; and I made sure to pick it up before the mom got a chance to say no. Yes, I am happy with this action on my part, and I will do it again in a heartbeat.

    Okay, I must admit I skipped on my list last month. And that is okay, seriously, I had no time, focusing most of my attention on writing my book while listening to Fiona Apple. Yeah, Fiona’s new CD (The Idler Wheel…) is definitely becoming my mental soundtrack for this opus, but I already talked about the CD enough on this site. You don’t need to read me praising it again… Oh, what the heck– it is my favorite CD of the year so far and you should buy it.  Onto my list: (more…)

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  • August 20, 2012

    My Wife Hates Steely Dan

    So often when you speak to married couples you hear of the sacrifices that they have given for the sake of the marriage. Bad habits disappear, strange heirlooms from the past go into storage.

    Luckily, for me my wife really married me for who I was and didn’t expect me to change…

    Oh wait…

    She did want one thing.

    My wife hates the music of Steely Dan.

    “Reelin’ in the Years”

    I grew up on the music of Steely Dan. My dad loves this band, I can’t remember a time really when Countdown to Ecstasy or Pretzel Logic wasn’t playing while he was working in the lawn or around the house.

    Over a decade ago I actually got him tickets to see the band live. And when he injured his leg, I gave him copies of their entire discography to help pass the time. They have always been a go-to possibility around my dad and presents… Other than Steely Dan and the work of Kurt Vonnegut, he is difficult to shop for, to be honest. (more…)

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  • August 15, 2012

    The Nat King Cole Inside My Head

    I am obsessed with The Beatles, I adore Belle and Sebastian, I’ve seen They Might Be Giants five times in concert, and I can’t stop playing the new Fiona Apple CD… but Nat King Cole is the musical comfort food for my soul.

    I have read a few biographies about him over the years, and as amazing of a life he had, it’s always hard for me to connect him to his voice. Frankly, his voice is so engrained into my own life, it is hard to think that it once even belonged to someone else, as strangely as that sounds. I don’t feel his struggles against racism in his career and his growth from jazz pianist to just a singer fronting a band in a studio, lost in the business of just singing singles hoping for a hit, when I listen to his music.

    I hear my own life in his voice, in his performing, making each recording I adore something akin to a special gift. (more…)

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  • August 6, 2012

    Living With Giants: Growing Up and Older With They Might Be Giants

    I’m a proud card carrying member of the lifetime fans of They Might Be Giants.

    I own all of the albums, each collection, a box filled with B-sides, concert albums, and too many shirts to count spanning the last two-and-a-half decades. I even once bought a shirt of theirs to save! See, my dream was that one of the characters in a screenplay I had written would wear that shirt in one scene. So even though I didn’t have a producer, studio, director or even an actor for it, I wanted to have the shirt just in case.

    I’ve seen They Might Be Giants five times in concert, and the best way I have found to describe the experience is to compare it to what (I assume) it is like to attend a meeting of the masons. You are with others that believe the same as you, know the same rites, know the same words, and instead of wearing creepy pinky rings we wear shirts with obscure references that no one but us really know…. And whenever I have met someone who already knows their albums, we immediately bond, our humor and artistic likes immediately snapping into alignment.

    I was indoctrinated into the club of John Flansburgh and John Linnell (The geniuses behind They Might Be Giants) via a B-side of a single for Flood. I was in high school, and had to rely on one of my friends to get back and forth to school. And as we would drive each day, with our saxophones bumping against each other in the backseat, my esteemed driver would keep throwing in the same tape that had nothing more than four songs on it. (more…)

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  • July 17, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, July 2012

    Yeah, last month I complained about the heat, but I had NO idea what I was talking about when I wrote that. (Naive little man.)

    July has been painful here, and besides the heat the weed pollen levels have been off the charts, making my allergies go crazy. Seriously, I awake each morning with red puffy eyes because of it. I look like Rocky Balboa screaming to be cut.

    Anyway, through red eyes, here is my list for this month (I apologize in advance for the amount of superheroes in this installment):

    Summer Blockbusters

    This has been a phenomenal summer for blockbusters; the ones that have found success definitely deserve it. From The Avengers to Brave to The Amazing Spider-Man, each of these films are well-written, well-directed, and, well, just plain good. When was the last time we had a summer that knocked it this perfectly out of the ballpark? I keep thinking back to the summer of Batman and Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade but that was decades ago. (more…)

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  • June 11, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, June 2012

    When I lived in Los Angeles, I found the weather boring. It was almost always the same every day!

    Warm, no clouds. Warm, no clouds. Warm, no clouds.

    And while for some that may seem like a piece of heaven, for me it made time non-existent. I didn’t feel days pass or time; it all felt the same, like a wheel on a well-paved road. I like bumps in the road to jar me into reality. So it is not surprising to me that most of my activities this month relate to things indoors.

    That’s just how I roll…

    Fiona Apple’s The Idler Wheel Is Wiser Than the Driver of the Screw and Whipping Cords Will Serve You More Than Ropes Will Ever Do

    Am I the only one that loves it when Apple does these long titles?  There is something wonderfully “out there” about doing  it. And speaking of “out there” in many ways this album  feels more experimental than her previous CDs; surprising, since this is her first album in 7 years. Her demons are still tormenting her and make appearances in every songs, but there are also wonderful little moments of innocence and beauty, under the slighty out-of-tune piano and tribal drummings and random chantings. (more…)

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  • May 31, 2012

    Which Beatle am I? I have no idea anymore

    I have always identified myself with The Beatles.  There was something about their energy, their creativity, and their artistic exploration that called to me.

    I know this is not a unique thing.

    Almost everyone feels some kind of connection to the fab four, but for me, I would mark my time based on theirs or I would relate myself to at least one of them from time to time, thinking something like “Wow that is just like John,” even though I knew it was never really the case… but it just made everything feel a little more important.

    When I was a young struggling writer, I saw myself as a young John Lennon. I wore a sailor cap like he did all the time and wrote comic short stories. Yes, I connected to this early John in a major way.   I even dressed as him for Halloween once with the sailor cap just so over my bangs… strangely (thanks probably to my blonde hair) most thought I was the Dutch Boy from the paint cans as compared to the young rock god. (more…)

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  • May 16, 2012

    Five Things I Am Into Right Now, May 2012

    All hail the month for pop media!

    Shows are ending on TV and the blockbusters are here each weekend, arriving like new loud neighbors to disturb the quiet neighborhood and old homeowners.  It is hard for me not to put on my geek hat, put down my copy of Charles Dickens, and relish in this time.

    Literary degree be damned, it is just time to have fun- look it is sunny again. Actual sunlight!

    Sigh…

    So in this list I embrace the fun. For example, check out my number one:

    The Avengers

    I loved this movie.

    In many ways, it captures what I always felt comics and comic book movies should be. In other words, it is fun. This is not moody or overly dark, this is straight-up heroes saving the world, and really do we need anything more?

    What I loved most about the movie are the things that surprised me in it. For one, the humor really added to the film, to the point I can’t imagine the characters or plot really surviving without it. It makes the film in so many ways. (more…)

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