This weekend, we put up our Christmas tree. We called it our “retro-tree” and used color lights and gold garland. Very 70’s. While we were doing this important activity, we listened to a holiday music station via our AT&T Uverse account. And, yes, while all of the classics were there, there were also a lot of bad Christmas songs on it.
A lot, a lot of bad Christmas songs…
Christmas donkeys, Suzy Snowflake, Alvin and the Chipmunks… It almost made me wonder if the person who planned the setlist had a hidden agenda. An agenda of holiday pain and bitterness. What did Santa do to them?
The fact is there is a trick to writing a good Christmas song (which I can tell you if you want), yet we still get horrendous new holiday songs each year (I wrote this post last year on the worst one I ever heard). Most bad holiday songs are around love and heartbreak and done by struggling pop artists. So to celebrate the fact that I’ve now REACHED 1000 BLOG FOLLOWERS, I’ve decided to enter the financial holiday gravy train.
“A Stocking Full of You”
If Snowflakes are daydreams
My lawn is covered with a thousand wishes of you-
When I sit on Santa’s lap
All I asked for was you in a bow-(Chorus) You make my sleigh bells jingle-
You light up Rudolph’s nose-
Jump in your sleigh and head over-
It’s almost Christmas day-Jack Frost and Frosty
Can’t freeze my longing heart-
All the Christmas songs are in minor keys
When they forget your smile-(Chorus)
(Bridge) Santa likes his cookies-
Reindeers like their hay-
This year I have only one wish on my list-
Have I been naughty?
Have I been naughty?
Oh!(Chorus)
(Chorus)
End
I expect all of the country singers and boy bands to send their checks directly to me from here to eternity.
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The Stories of Scott D. Southard 